- [Frederick, a Goth, answers the door to his girlfriend, Andi, another Goth]
- Frederick Gaylord Crane: Hey.
- Andi: Hey.
- Frederick Gaylord Crane: Well, see ya.
- [They leave]
- Dr. Niles Crane: Well, at least he's not dating outside the faith.
- [Niles mistakenly believes he has ingested marijuana]
- Dr. Niles Crane: I know all the symptoms I can expect to experience. I'm especially looking forward to something called the "munchies" stage. It's where one enjoys bizarre food combinations. I'm thinking of pairing this Chilean sea bass with an aggressive Zinfandel!
- [about Martin's excessive Christmas decorating]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Ah yes, the magical time of year when the Great Wall of China and my apartment are the only two man-made structures visible from space.
- Martin: [entering Cafe Nervosa] Eddie and I must have walked about three miles. I'm sweating like a pig.
- [as he moves to take a chair, Frasier hooks it with his foot and pulls it in]
- Martin: What the hell are you doing?
- Frasier: I am saving that seat for someone who may not wish to have it bedewed with pig sweat.
- Frasier: [discussing Natalie's exotic accent] God, she could read me the phone book, and I would melt like an overripe Camembert. Imagine what she would do with that -
- [imitating her]
- Frasier: Camembert.
- Dr. Niles Crane: R-R-R-Roquefort.
- Frasier: Reblochon!
- Dr. Niles Crane: Blu!
- Frasier: [giggling] We're terrible!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes well, at least you had a better night than I did. Halfway through our date, Natalie got a phone call - an emergency at home.
- [chuckles bitterly]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I decided to take a little walk. Twenty minutes later I saw her in a different bar with another man.
- Dr. Niles Crane: There was no emergency?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Not unless he had an infected earlobe which required an immediate tongue-flicking.