Frasier (TV Series)

Merry Christmas, Mrs. Moskowitz (1998)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Quotes 

• Niles : What's going on?

  Frasier : Faye's mother thinks that we're Jewish, just play along.

  Niles : Okay...why?

  Frasier : Well, it's important to Faye; Faye is important to me. Do you think you can pull it off?

  Niles : No problem.

  [checks oven] 

  Niles : Ohhh, ham!

  Frasier : Niles, Please! We've got to find a time to tell Dad about this, too.

  Niles : You mean Papa.

  Frasier : Stop it!

• Martin Crane : I don't know how to be Jewish.

  Niles : Well, just answer questions with a question.

  Martin Crane : Like what?

  Niles : What, I have to explain everything?

  Martin Crane : Can't you give me an example?

  Niles : What, I should give you an example?

  Martin Crane : Are you going to help me or not?

  Niles : You're saying I'm not being helpful?

  Martin Crane : Oh, forget it!

  [storms out of the kitchen] 

  Helen Moskowitz : So, Marty, both your sons are doctors, how did you ever manage to swing that?

  Martin Crane : I have no idea... do I?

• Frasier : They're both popping up on the way to the airport. I guess someone wanted to rack up a few more frequent Frasier miles.

  [he and Niles laugh, then Niles leans in] 

  Niles : You don't ever actually say those things to the woman, do you?

  Frasier : Oh no, no.

• Daphne : Dr Crane, can I ask a favor? What are you doing for the next ten nights? Because my...

  Niles : Yes.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : [Frasier finds Niles in his kitchen, dressed as Jesus Christ]  What is going on?

  Dr. Niles Crane : The man who is supposed to do the number from "Jesus Christ Superstar" - he couldn't go on. He slipped in the shower; the man who could walk on water, but...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, yes, it's dripping with irony!

• Frasier : [to phone]  Well, that would be just lovely. All right, I'll see you soon.

  [hangs up] 

  Frasier : Well, isn't that nice? Faye's dropping by.

  Niles : Oh, you've been seeing a lot of her lately, haven't you?

  Frasier : Yes, I have. You know, she really is quite wonderful.

  Niles : Well, I thought she was off to Florida with her mother.

  Frasier : Yes, she is. They're both popping by on the way to the airport. I guess someone wanted to rack up a few more frequent Frasier miles.

  [laughs]