- Martin Crane: [to Eddie] Hey, you're lookin' a little under the weather. You all right?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: He most certainly is not. He dined on that lovely can of bacon fat you've been hiding under the sink.
- Martin Crane: Oh, geez. Poor little guy. You know, bacon grease is bad for dogs.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Ironic, considering its vast health benefits for humans.
- Roz Doyle: [ordering drinks for herself and her sister] Two Bloody Marys please. And there's an extra twenty in it for you if one of them is poisoned. I don't even care which one.
- Roz Doyle: Oh, you can't blame her, Frasier. Who wants to get in hair and makeup at eight in the morning?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, somebody better. I'm being profiled, it's going to look like I can't even scare up a date.
- Roz Doyle: You scared that one pretty good.
- Kenny Daly: Roz, Larry Gamba couldn't make it, so if he wins can you accept for him?
- Roz Doyle: Sure, Kenny. Nothing takes the sting out of not being nominated like accepting an award for my former intern.
- Randall Schoonover: Your brother was just telling me how Maris is coping with jail. So, is it true that Maris tried to break out?
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, no, no, no. Her eyebrow pencil simply rolled out of her cell and she went to get it. It's really the jail's fault for making those bars so far apart.