- Carlton Banks: Look, don't you see, Will? We've got these people by the textbooks. We can charge and pretty much do whatever we want.
- William 'Will' Smith: This is like sex to you, isn't it?
- Carlton Banks: Yes.
- Philip Banks: This is an outrage.
- William 'Will' Smith: Look, Uncle Phil. I swear that dent was in the car before I hit that mailbox.
- Philip Banks: What dent?
- William 'Will' Smith: Exactly. So what was you saying?
- William 'Will' Smith: Hey, hey, hey. What up, dog?
- Carlton Banks: Dog? Will, this is a place of business, not a kennel.
- William 'Will' Smith: [to a female customer] My name's Will. Welcome to The Peacock where our motto is, "Girl, whatever you got, I want it."
- Carlton Banks: [to Will] Listen, as your boss, I'm not gonna tolerate that kind of insubordination.
- William 'Will' Smith: You're not my boss. You're just some butt-kissing, apple-a-day suck up that got lucky.
- Hilary Banks: Those newsletter bozos put up a big "Honk If You Hate Hilary" billboard right at the corner of Sunset and Doheny.
- William 'Will' Smith: Oh, damn. That mean they took down the "Naughty Nightie" girl.