- William 'Will' Smith: [to a guy following Hattie] Dude, for the last time, she is NOT Queen Latifah.
- Geoffrey: [comes in and tosses a blanket around Hattie's neck as she sits in the family room]
- Hattie Banks: Excuse me? Does it look like I've just won the Kentucky Derby?
- Geoffrey: I'm sorry, madame, but Master Banks has requested that you stay warm this evening.
- Hattie Banks: [grumbling] Then why don't you just light me on fire?
- William 'Will' Smith: I'm telling you, Ash, this is the perfect place to take Grandma. First we'll see the llamas and the giraffes, then we'll swing by the monkey house and we'll finish with a ride on the Ferris wheel.
- Ashley Banks: Will, for the last time we are not breaking into Michael Jackson's house!
- William 'Will' Smith: Hey Granny, watcha doing?
- Hattie Banks: Not much, I'm afraid, and your uncle intends to keep it that way. He gave me one of those books of search for word puzzles. I found all the words, now what do I do with them?
- Philip Banks: Will, you're grounded!
- William 'Will' Smith: Aw, just for playing music loud? Shouldn't that just be like no dessert?
- Hattie Banks: I can't believe them charging ten dollars for these t-shirts.
- William 'Will' Smith: I'll still never figure out how you managed to talk him down to $1.25 and a picture of Grandpa.
- Hattie Banks: [to Uncle Phil] Now, don't go giving me that look, Zeke. That's the same look you gave me at the county fair when I wouldn't let you climb up the greasy pole. Now, you're not all that mad at me, are you?
- Philip Banks: Well, Mama, yes I am! I try to set some rules for Will and you undermine my authority. I know how to handle things. I am an adult.
- Hattie Banks: I am too, Zeke.
- Philip Banks: I know that.
- Hattie Banks: Do you? How many adults do you tell to take a nap?
- Philip Banks: Mama, I was just worried about you.
- Hattie Banks: But I'm fine, baby.
- Philip Banks: I know. When you had the flu and I talked to you on the phone, you sounded so small. I just want you to live a long time.
- Hattie Banks: Then, Zeke, let me live.
- William 'Will' Smith: Y'all should've seen Granny, first she climbs out the second story window, then she runs over to Jazz's car, and she pushed it when it stalled on a hill.
- Vivian Banks: [sarcastically] You're right, Philip, I don't think Hattie's up to seeing those azaleas tomorrow.
- William 'Will' Smith: Hey Granny, since we're both kinda grounded, you wanna go to our rooms and slam some doors and throw some things?
- William 'Will' Smith: Sneak out? As in break the rules, Granny, YOU?
- Hattie Banks: Child, you're looking at a woman who has sneaked out to more barn dances, hayrides, and midnight skinny dips, than a chicken has pecks!
- Hattie Banks: Hilary, tomorrow we are going for a spa treatment.
- Hilary Banks: It'll be great, Grandma, you haven't lived until you've had a mud mask.
- Hattie Banks: What people don't pay for in Beverly Hills. Then Ashely, you and I are going to make some macaroni rain hats.
- Carlton Banks: Gee, Grandma, you'll need to rest after that.
- Hattie Banks: I know, you can tell me about your schoolwork then.
- Ashley Banks: [the Banks enter the kitchen] What's that smell?
- Hattie Banks: [pops up behind the counter] Watch your step, the floor is wet.
- Philip Banks: Mama! What're you doing?
- Hattie Banks: Giving the floor a good scrub.
- Vivian Banks: Well Hattie, you seem to be back to your old self. But that's Geoffrey's job.
- Hattie Banks: No it ain't.
- Geoffrey: [enters the kitchen wearing a hat and carrying a rake] Alright, ma'am, I started the compost pile.
- Philip Banks: [glares at him for letting Hatti scrub the floor] Geoffrey...
- Geoffrey: Sorry, sir, but she threatened me with a whooping.
- Philip Banks: Mama, you're to take it easy out here while you're recuperating from the flu.
- Hattie Banks: Flu? That was just a little cold.
- Philip Banks: What did the doctor say?
- Hattie Banks: You know us country folks don't rush off to the doctor at the first sneeze, sniffle, or broken bone. We're not the spendthrifts you are, Zeke.