Friends (TV Series)

The One Hundredth (1998)

Lisa Kudrow: Phoebe Buffay

Photos 

Quotes 

• Phoebe : Hey, you guys can I just like have a second alone with the babies.

  [They hand her the babies and leave them alone] 

  Phoebe : So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives!

  [Imitates the high fives] 

  Phoebe : Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

  [One of the babies begins to cry] 

  Phoebe : Well, if you're gonna cry.

  [She starts crying] 

• Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey, y'know, Alice is gonna be here so soon, you couldn't just like do me a favor and like, like hold them in?

  Phoebe : Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.

• Nurse : Now, which one of you is the father?

  [pointing to Joey and Ross] 

  Phoebe : Oh no, neither of them are the father. The father is my brother.

  Nurse : Okaaay.

  Rachel : I am so gonna miss seeing you freak people out like that.

• Frank Buffay Jr. : What's with him?

  Phoebe : Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.

• Rachel : I think it's a great thing you're having these babies for Frank and Alice.

  Phoebe : Can I tell you a secret? I'm gonna keep one.

  Rachel : Oh, my god. I'm going to be on the news...

• Chandler : So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?

  Phoebe : They're gonna call her Chandler.

  Chandler : That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think?

  Phoebe : Works on you.

• Joey : Ok, Phoebe. This is for the kids, later on. You got something you want to say?

  Phoebe : Hi, kids. I can't wait to see you. Please don't hurt me.

• Rachel : Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.

  Phoebe : What?

  Dr. Ross Geller : Apparently she fell in the shower and hit her head.

  Phoebe : Oh my God, she's so stupid!

  Dr. Ross Geller : Now, Pheebs, Pheebs, its going to be okay.

  Phoebe : That's easy for you to say. I don't see three kids coming out of your vagina.

• [Phoebe is in labor] 

  Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey. I came as soon as I heard.

  Phoebe : Hey. Where's Alice?

  Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, she's in Delaware. But, don't worry, she told me all about the lamazda training.

  Chandler : Yes, that would be if you get the babies out by the end of the month, you get 2% financing.

• Phoebe : I already had a baby. Leave me alone.