- [Chandler comes back with Chinese food, and finds everyone in the living room]
- Chandler Bing: Hey!
- Joey Tribbiani: You son of a bitch!
- Chandler Bing: Is it me, or have the greetings gotten downhill around here?
- Rachel Green: What about you Joe, what would you give up, sex or food?
- Joey Tribbiani: Uhh... ooh... uhh...
- [thinks really hard]
- Joey Tribbiani: I don't know, it's too hard!
- Rachel Green: No, you gotta pick one!
- Joey Tribbiani: [sighs] Uhh, food... no, sex! Food! Sex! Food! Se- I dunno, oh god I want both! I want... I want girls on bread!
- [first lines]
- Rachel Green: You gotta see these latest pictures of Emma.
- Phoebe Buffay: Ooh how cute. She looks just like a little doll.
- Rachel Green: Oh, no no! That is a doll.
- Phoebe Buffay: Oh thank God because that thing is really creepy.
- Chandler Bing: I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor.
- Joey Tribbiani: I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes.
- Rachel Green: When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was, "I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but man, this would be a nice place to live!"
- Dr. Ross Geller: I just can't see Chandler cheating.
- Rachel Green: I'm telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester. They went in for like 45 minutes and they came out looking pretty happy.
- Joey Tribbiani: Chandler? 45 minutes?