- Monica Geller: Hey Rach, aren't these candlesticks mine?
- Rachel: No, no, I bought those.
- Monica Geller: Oh, right, I forgot... that you're a liar!
- Joey: Probably a residual cheque. Can you open it? I got...
- [shows his hands tied with string]
- Chandler: Benefits Lasped.
- Joey: Thats weird. I don't remember being in a movie called "Benefits Lapsed."
- Chandler: [chuckles] It's not a cheque. They are saying your health insurance expired cause... you didn't work enough last year.
- Joey: What? Let me see that. Oh no! This sucks. When I had health insurance I could... catch on fire, you know or get hit by a bus. Now I gotta be careful?
- Chandler: I know what you mean, man, there's never a good time to stop... catching on fire.
- Joey: Well, I guess I am gonna go get a job, I'll see ya later.
- Chandler: Ok, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.
- Joey: [mocking] Make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.
- [turns and walks into the door]
- [In a Scottish Accent, on the phone]
- Rachel: Oh Hello Dr Geller. This is Professor McNulty from the fake accent University. We'd like you to come on board with us full time.
- [Joey has a bad hernia and is in massive pain]
- Phoebe: Hey! Maybe you'll die!
- Joey: [voice cracks] Chandler, I'm scared.
- Phoebe: No, we can go together. Just don't wait too long, because I'm outta here sometimes before Friday.
- Joey: But I don't wanna die.
- Phoebe: No, no, it'll be fun. We'll come back and haunt these guys!
- Joey: Wait, could I come back and haunt Monica and Rachel when they're in the shower?
- Chandler: That's my girlfriend!
- Joey: Hey, I'm dead!
- Joey: Are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
- Joey: No, why?
- Dr. Ross Geller: I just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didn't have naked chicks on it.
- Joey: Oh-ooh-ooh! Y'know what's a good visual aide?
- Dr. Ross Geller: Please don't say naked chicks.
- Joey: Why not?
- Dr. Ross Geller: I-I-I don't even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Y'know what? I'm just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks!
- Chandler: That's the way I did it 'til I was nineteen.
- [Ross looks at him]
- Chandler: All right, twenty.
- [Joey looks at him]
- Chandler: Twenty-three.