Friends (TV Series)

The One Where Ross Is Fine (2003)

Matthew Perry: Chandler Bing

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Monica Geller-Bing : Hey, Phoebs, we just wanna give you a heads up. Bill and Colleen hate us.

  Chandler Bing : Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him.

  [Monica slaps him on the shoulder] 

  Phoebe Buffay : Still, he had to find out some time.

  Chandler Bing : Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them?

  [the triplets are sitting right next to him, and they look horrified] 

  Chandler Bing : I'm gonna go tell Emma she was an accident.

• Bill : Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen.

  Colleen : I'll go get him in a second. By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet.

  Chandler Bing : But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows?

  [Owen comes running in] 

  Owen : I'm adopted?

  Chandler Bing : See? Intuitive!

  Bill : What? Where did you hear that?

  Owen : [points at Chandler]  He told me! And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell.

  Chandler Bing : Which technically now you should give back!

  Colleen : You told him he's adopted?

  Chandler Bing : I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."

  Owen : He isn't?

  Chandler Bing : [to Monica]  We have to get out of here, baby!

• Chandler Bing : Hey, you must be Owen.

  Owen : Yeah.

  Chandler Bing : I'm Chandler. Hey, I was in the scouts too.

  Owen : You were?

  Chandler Bing : Yeah, in fact my father was a den-mother.

  Owen : Huh?

  Chandler Bing : [changing the subject]  You know how to use a compass?

  Owen : I have a badge in it.

  Chandler Bing : You do? That's fantastic!

  Owen : You wanna see it?

  Chandler Bing : I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.

  Owen : What?

  Chandler Bing : What?

• Monica Geller-Bing : God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption... There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives.

  Chandler Bing : [not paying attention]  There's a hair in my coffee.