Friends (TV Series)

The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad (2000)

Bruce Willis: Paul Stevens

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rachel Green : [to Paul during dinner]  So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly offered to take me.

  Elizabeth Stevens : What a nice story.

  Paul Stevens : So Ross was in college, and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom?

  Rachel Green : I definitely did not see that one backfiring! I'm going to go to the bathroom.

  Dr. Ross Geller : [to Rachel]  Yeah, you take your time.

  Dr. Ross Geller : [to Paul]  Just so you know, I was a freshman and she was a senior, so it wasn't as bad as...

  Paul Stevens : [to Ross]  Look, I know I've been giving you a lot of jabs - and it's partly that I'm very protective of my daughter, and partly because they keep coming to me! But I have to admit, after all the wonderful things Elizabeth has told me, and after the many, many, many things Rachel has told me... well, I guess you're not all bad.

  Dr. Ross Geller : [feeling satisfied]  I'm not all bad.

  Paul Stevens : I'm sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand I still look at Elizabeth like she's a twelve-year-old girl.

  Dr. Ross Geller : You know what? I do that, too.

  Paul Stevens : I beg your pardon?

  Dr. Ross Geller : [nervously]  Oh, no - I don't see her as a twelve-year-old girl. I have a son who's six, and I still think of him as a baby.

  Paul Stevens : You have a son?

  Dr. Ross Geller : Yes, my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben - and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms, as I'm sure you are with your wife.

  Dr. Ross Geller : [nervously, remembering Paul is a widower]  Oh, I'm very sorry.

  Paul Stevens : [as Rachel returns to the table]  Don't worry about it; I didn't realize you were married.

  Rachel Green : We were, but that was a big drunken mistake.

  Dr. Ross Geller : [sarcastically to Rachel]  Oh, great - you're back?

  Paul Stevens : You two were married?

  Rachel Green : [revealing Ross was married three times]  Oh, whoops - you were talking about Emily.

  Dr. Ross Geller : [shamefully slams his head on the table] 

• Paul Stevens : [sternly]  So, Ross - what's your problem?

  Dr. Ross Geller : Excuse me?

  Paul Stevens : Why can't you get a girlfriend your own age?

  Dr. Ross Geller : [nervously]  I don't know...

  Paul Stevens : I don't like you going out with my daughter.

  Dr. Ross Geller : OK, I can see that - but if you give me one chance, I can change your mind.

  Paul Stevens : [reluctantly]  ... OK.

  Dr. Ross Geller : What?

  Paul Stevens : I'll give you one chance to change my mind.

  Dr. Ross Geller : Really?

  Paul Stevens : You have one minute.

  Elizabeth Stevens : Daddy!

  Paul Stevens : Fine; two minutes... go!

  Dr. Ross Geller : [stuttering nervously] 

  Paul Stevens : [looks at his watch]  A minute and fifty seconds...

  Dr. Ross Geller : [nervously]  OK, I've never done anything like this before; I mean, I've been in relationships in general, but I've never done it with a student... Not "it"! We haven't done "it"; we've done "stuff"... OK, a joke to lighten the mood: Two guys into a bar, one of them is Irish...

  Paul Stevens : I'm Irish.

  Dr. Ross Geller : [thinking quickly]  And the Irish guy wins the joke!