- Ross: [on attending a party in 1987 with Rachel] After you told me that she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was alright. She was lying on my bed, all buried in people's coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, but it was so dark I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away - but then I felt her kissing me back. It was only for a second, but it was amazing! And now I found out that you kissed her first!
- Chandler: Wait - what bed did you say she was on?
- Ross: Mine.
- Chandler: I'm pretty sure I put her on *my* bed.
- Ross: No, she was defintely on my bed.
- Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl and then put her on *your* bed?
- Ross: Well, then, who was on my bed?
- Monica: ...Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Ross: [horrified] No! No! No!
- Monica: Yes!
- Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
- Monica: I *was* the pile of coats.
- Ross: Oh, my god!
- Monica: You were my midnight mystery kisser?
- Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
- Monica: You were my first kiss ever?
- Chandler: ...What did I marry into?
- Donny Osmond: [playing "Pyramid", the category is "Things you find in your refrigerator"] Give me 20 seconds on the clock. Ready? Go.
- Gene: [the word is "cream"] You put this in your coffee.
- Joey: Uh - a spoon! Your hands! Your face!
- Gene: It's white.
- Joey: Paper! Snow! A ghost!
- Gene: It's heavier than milk.
- Joey: A rock! A dog! The earth!
- Gene: Pass.
- Gene: [the word is "mayonnaise"] You put this on a sandwich.
- Joey: Salami! Anchovies! Jaam.
- Gene: It's white.
- Joey: Paper! Snow! A ghost!
- [Ross is at college reunion and talking to a girl that both he and Chandler used to have a crush on]
- Ross: He and I both really liked you a lot, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship - so we kinda made a pact that neither of us could ask you out.
- Missy Goldberg: Really?
- Ross: Yeah - why?
- Missy Goldberg: Well, Chandler and I used to make out. A lot!
- Ross: You did?
- Missy Goldberg: Yeah. We'd go to the science lab after hours...
- Ross: And on my turf?
- Roy, the Stripper: [beginning his police stripper act] Did someone call for the long arm of the law? I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! I hope you're familiar with the state's "penal" code! Alright, alright - enough teasing! Now for some pleasing!
- Missy Goldberg: So how come it took you so long to ask me out?
- Ross: Do you remember my roomate? Chandler Bing?
- Missy Goldberg: [gesturing] Sure, he was in your "band".
- Ross: It's been sixteen years, but the air quotes still hurt.
- Rachel Green: No! Phoebe, of course there is more! I mean, I'll just talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pees.