- Phoebe: Y'know, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that we're trying to figure out her recipe. I bet she's lookin' up at us and smiling right now.
- Ross: Looking *up*?
- Phoebe: Oh, yeah. No, she was really nice to me - but she's in hell for sure.
- Monica: Well, I've tried everything; I give up. I guess I'm not gonna be the mom who makes the world's best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that, right?
- Ross: Aww, Pheeb - come on; isn't there any relative that would have the recipe? What about - what about your sister?
- Phoebe: Oh, no - no, no; I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And that's not happening 'til October 15th, 2032.
- Ross: That's the day you're gonna die? See - darn it, I've got shuffleboard that day.
- Phoebe: That's what *you* think.
- Monica: Well, I mean, what about friends of your grandmother's - wouldn't they have the recipe?
- Phoebe: Well, y'know, I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Toulouse.
- Monica: What was her name?
- Phoebe: Nesele Toulouse.
- Monica: NESTLE TOLLHOUSE?
- Phoebe: Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language!
- Monica: [grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips and tossing it] Phoebe, is *this* the recipe?
- Phoebe: [reading the recipe on the back of the bag] Yes!... Ohhhh.
- Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe, and it was in my cupboard the whole time!
- Phoebe: I know! You see, it is stuff like this which is why
- Phoebe: [looking down] you're burning in hell!
- Rachel: Oh, my god - I've become my father. I've been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn't see this coming.
- Joey: You're mean on the boat.
- Rachel: What? I was just trying to teach you.
- Joey: Well, lesson learned. Rachel is mean.
- Ross: Yeeeeeep... Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. I remember when she took me out on her dad's boat, she wouldn't let me help at all.
- Rachel: Excuse me - I wanted you to help, but you couldn't move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets.
- Ross: You have to respect the sea.
- Rachel: Look, Joey, I'm sorry if - if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. OK, my father is mean; he used to yell at me all the time on the boat - I mean, it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
- Joey: Does a good teacher say, "Put down the beer, pinhead?"
- Rachel: Well, does a good student drink seven beers during his first lesson?
- Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
- Rachel: Yeah, I didn't want you to get hit by the boom!
- Joey: Well, it hit me anyway! And it would've hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
- Rachel: Alright, y'know what? I - I'm sorry. I will try to tone it down and, uh, stop yelling.
- Joey: You won't boss me around anymore?
- Rachel: I won't boss you around.
- Joey: And you'll be nice?
- Rachel: And I'll be nice.
- Joey: And you'll be topless?
- Rachel: And I'll - Joey!
- Joey: Do you want me to learn?
- Rachel: OK, Joey, we're luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham?
- Joey: Uh, wow - you just said a bunch of stuff I didn't know there.
- Rachel: Joey, come on! We just went over this!
- Joey: Oh, y'know, when we did, that was when that bird was flying overhead with the fish in his mouth. Did you see it? It was gross!
- Rachel: [furious] No! Alright? I did *not* see the bird! I did *not* see the fish! I did *not* see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did *not*, because I was trying to teach you *how* to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
- Joey: Alright, that's it! You're yelling, and I don't see you taking your top off! I quit!
- Rachel: What do you mean you quit? You can't quit!
- Joey: Why not?
- Rachel: Because you're not finished yet, and I won't have it! Greens do not quit!
- Joey: Greens? I'm a Tribbiani! And Tribbianis quit!
- Monica: I want to have your grandmother's cookie recipe!
- Phoebe: You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?
- Monica: Uh-huh, yeah.
- Phoebe: You mean the one that my grandmother made me swear on her deathbed that I would never let out of our family?
- Chandler Bing: Dying people say the craziest things!