Friends (TV Series)
The One with Phoebe's Husband (1995)
Courteney Cox: Monica Geller
Photos
Quotes
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Monica : I saw you eat a cheeseburger!
[Everyone gasps]
Monica : Well, didn't you?
Phoebe : I might have.
Monica : I can't believe you didn't tell me.
Phoebe : C'mon. Like you tell me everything?
Monica : What haven't I told you?
Phoebe : Oh I don't know. How about the fact that the underwear out on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby on the terrace!
[Everyone runs to the window to look]
Monica : Who told you that?
[Looks at Chandler]
Monica : You are dead meat.
Chandler : I didn't know if was a big secret.
Monica : Oh, it's not big. Not at all. You know, kind of the same as, I don't know, a third nipple!
Phoebe : [Gasps] You have a third nipple?
Chandler : [to Monica] You bitch!
Ross : Whip it out! Whip it out!
Chandler : No. C'mon! There's nothing to see. It's a tiny bump. It's totally useless.
Rachel : As opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?
Joey : I can't believe you! You told me it was a nubbin!
Ross : Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
Joey : I don't know. You see something, you hear a word. I thought that was it. Let me see it again!
Ross : Yes! Show us your nubbin!
Chandler : [Doesn't know what to say while everyone comes at him] Joey was in a porno movie!
[Everyone gasps. Joey is shocked Chandler would say that]
Chandler : If I'm going down, I'm taking everybody with me.
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Rachel : [in a childish, nasal voice] Ooh, Julie's so smart, Julie's so special!
[normal voice]
Rachel : What, does she go put an outfit on at night and go out and fight crime?
Monica : Look, honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now. You're just going to have to get over it.
Rachel : Oh! I'm gonna have to get over it! See, I didn't know that's what I have to do! I just have to get over it! Oh, I'm gonna have to write that down on my hand.
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Chandler : [about Joey's cameo in a porn movie] What's this in my pocket? It's Joey's porn video!
Rachel : C'mon guys; let's not watch it. Porn is degrading to women and degrading to females and... help me out, Monica.
Monica : Are you kidding? I want to see Joey!
Chandler : [the porn video takes place in an office] *That* is the damnedest typing test I have ever seen.
Rachel : Wow, I hope she gets the job.
Ross : I'd say he is the one getting *the job*.