Friends (TV Series)

The One with Phoebe's Uterus (1998)

Jennifer Aniston: Rachel Green

Photos 

Quotes 

• Joey : Guess what job I just got?

  Chandler Bing : I don't know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black.

  [pauses] 

  Ross : What?

  Chandler Bing : Blue blazer back. He wants it back.

  Rachel : But, you said "black". Why would he want his blue blazer black?

  Chandler Bing : Well, you know what I meant.

  Monica Geller : No, you messed it up. You're stupid.

• [Ross got Joey a job at the museum, as a tour guide] 

  Rachel : But shouldn't you know what you're talking about?

  Joey : Yeah, but they tell me everything I need to know. It's like reading a script. Like, "this is a Tyranosaurus Rex a creature from the Jurassic period".

  [everyone approves] 

  Ross : Actually, Joey, it's the Cretaceous period.

  Joey : Yeah, but, I can pronounce Jurassic.

• Monica Geller : All right, I'm gonna show you something a lot of guys don't know. Rach, give me that pad, please?

  [Monica starts drawing on it] 

  Monica Geller : All right. Now...

  Chandler Bing : Look, you don't have to draw an actual wo... Whoa! She's hot!

  Monica Geller : Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones.

  [She starts labeling them] 

  Monica Geller : You got one, two three, four

  [Chandler is shocked to find out there's more than three] 

  Monica Geller : , five, six, and seven!

  Chandler Bing : There are seven?

  Rachel : Let me see that.

  [Monica shows her] 

  Rachel : Oh, yeah.

  Chandler Bing : [Points to one]  That's one?

  Monica Geller : It's kind of an important one!

  Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know-y'know what, I was looking at it upside down.

  Monica Geller : Now, most guys will hit uh, 1-2-3 and then go to 7 and set up camp.

  Chandler Bing : That-that's bad?

  Monica Geller : Well if you go to Disneyland, you don't spend the whole day on the Matterhorn.

  Chandler Bing : Well, you might if it were anything like 7!

  Monica Geller : All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit 'em all, and you mix 'em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.

  Chandler Bing : Oo, toes! Well, for some people.

  [Chandler eyes her and her toes] 

  Monica Geller : All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4,

  [Rachel starts getting worked up] 

  Monica Geller : 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7.

  Monica Geller : [Starting to yell]  7... 7... 7! 7! 7! 7! 7! 7! 7! 7! 7! 7! 7!

  [Monica and Rachel both lean back on the couch satisfied]