- Chandler: Mental note - if Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it!
- [All sitting around coffee table talking about their "weirdest place"]
- Rachel: Come on, someone go.
- Monica: OK, I'll go, Senior year of college on a pool table.
- Ross: That's my sister.
- Joey: OK, my weirdest place would have to be... the women's room on the second floor of the New York City Public Library.
- Monica: Oh my God. What were YOU doing in a library?
- Ross: Phoebs, what about you?
- Phoebe: Oh um... Milwaukee.
- Rachel: Um... Ross?
- Ross: Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All'. The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical dutch children... then they fixed the ride and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
- Phoebe: Ooh, Rachel.
- Rachel: Oh come on, I already went.
- Monica: You did not go.
- Rachel: All right... the weirdest place, would have to be... oh... the foot of the bed.
- Ross: Step back...
- Joey: We have a winner!
- Phoebe Buffay: [singing] New York City has no power / And the milk is getting sour / But to me it is not scary / 'Cause I stay away from dairy.
- Chandler: [muffled through tight lips on the phone] I'm trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre!
- Monica: I have no idea what you just said.
- Chandler: Put Joey on the phone.
- [muffled on the phone to Joey]
- Chandler: I'm trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre!
- Joey: Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre!
- Jill Goodacre: Are you alright? My God, you're choking!
- [Jill performs Heimlich Maneuver on Chandler]
- Jill Goodacre: Better?
- Chandler: Yes, thank you. That was... that was...
- Jill Goodacre: Perfection?
- Phoebe Buffay: Ooh, look! Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
- Phoebe Buffay, Joey, Rachel, Ross, Monica: [the gang rushes to the window] Ew...
- Phoebe Buffay, Joey, Rachel, Ross, Monica: OOH!
- Rachel: That had to hurt!
- Ross: Passion is way overrated... Eventually, it kind of burns out. But hopefully what you're left with is trust and security and, uh... In my ex-wife's case, lesbianism. For all those people who miss out on that, uh, passion thing, there's other good stuff.
- [last lines]
- Chandler: [after Victoria's Secret model Jill had left the vestibule, pleads up at security camera:] Hi. Um, I'm account number 7143457 and, uh, I don't know if you got any of that, but I would *really* like a copy of the tape.
- Monica: [on phone] Pants and a sweater? Why, Mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Can we talk about this later?
- Chandler: [thoughts heard] Oh, my God! It's her! It's that Victoria's Secret model! Something,,, something Goodacre.
- Jill Goodacre: [talking on phone] Hi, Mom, it's Jill.
- Chandler: [thoughts heard] Right, it's Jill. Oh, my God! I am trapped in a ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! Is it a vestibule? Is it an ATM? Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot!
- Jill Goodacre: [talking on phone] Yeah, fine, just stuck at the bank in an ATM vestibule.
- Chandler: [thoughts heard] Jill says vestibule. I'm going with vestibule.
- Jill Goodacre: [talking on phone] I'm fine. No, I'm not alone. I don't know, some guy.
- Chandler: [thoughts heard] Some guy? Some guy! Hey, Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was *some* guy!
- [swaggers closer, then realizes what he's doing, backs away]
- [first lines]
- Rachel: Everybody! Uh, Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay!
- [applause]
- Phoebe Buffay: Thanks. Hi. Uh, I wanna start with a song that's about that moment when you suddenly realize... what life is *really* all about. Okay, here we go.
- [first twang on the guitar, the power goes out, and she stands there in the dark]
- Phoebe Buffay: Okay, thank you very much.
- Phoebe Buffay: [to Monica, during blackout] Can I borrow your phone? I wanna call my apartment and check on my grandmother. Wait, what's my number?
- [Monica looks at her as if she should know]
- Phoebe Buffay: I never call *me!*