Friends (TV Series)

The One with the Butt (1994)

David Schwimmer: Dr. Ross Geller

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Ross Geller : [Monica is trying to convince the gang that she can be irresponsible, random, and a "kook"]  All right, you madcap gal, try to imagine this: the phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.

  Monica Geller : Why not?

  Dr. Ross Geller : Because you're a 'kook'! Instead, you wait until they send you a notice.

  Monica Geller : [a little uncomfortable]  I could do that.

  Rachel Green : Okay, okay, you let me go grocery shopping...

  Monica Geller : No problem!

  Rachel Green : I'm not done yet.

  Monica Geller : Oh.

  Rachel Green : *And... * I buy laundry detergent *But... * it's not the one with the easy-pour spout!

  Monica Geller : *Why would someone do that?*

  [she catches herself] 

  Monica Geller : One might wonder... but I would be fine with that.

  Chandler Bing : Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink. It's a hot day.

  [Monica begins to squirm, and Chandler goes in for the kill] 

  Chandler Bing : Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood...

  Monica Geller : *Stop it!* Oh, my god... it's true. Who am I?

  Dr. Ross Geller : Monica... you're Mom.

  [Phoebe imitates screeching violins from "Psycho" and slashes air with imaginary knife] 

• Rachel Green : Come on, she's a person. You can do it!

  Chandler Bing : Oh, please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.

  Dr. Ross Geller : He can never get a woman like that in a million years.

  Chandler Bing : Thank you, buddy.

  Phoebe Buffay : Oh, oh, but you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys. You could be one of those guys.

• Phoebe Buffay : [to Rachel]  I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.

  Chandler Bing : [to Rachel]  Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out!

  Monica Geller : Guys, I am not that bad!

  Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember when I lived with you, you were like a little...

  [imitates screeching violins from Psycho] 

  Monica Geller : That is so unfair!

  Dr. Ross Geller : Oh, come on, when we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy!