Get Smart (TV Series)

Absorb the Greek (1969)

Barbara Feldon: #99

Quotes 

• Agent 99 : We hate to tell you this, Chief, but we've been tailing you for the last week.

  Chief : Why?

  Maxwell Smart : Well, Chief, we didn't wanna do it, but that's the assignment they gave us.

  Chief : Who gave you that assignment?

  Maxwell Smart : The guy who's over you.

  [pointing downwards] 

  Chief : Well if he's over me, why are you pointing down?

  Maxwell Smart : Because his office is downstairs.

• Maxwell Smart : Chief! What happened, are you alright?

  Agent 99 : Where's my mother?

  Chief : I was hit by a blackjack.

  Maxwell Smart : Your mother hit him over the head with a blackjack?

  Agent 99 : Max! My mother wouldn't do a thing like that!

  Chief : Her mother wouldn't do a thing like that! You sure it wasn't a gunbutt?

• 99's Mother : [99 is untying her mother from a rack]  Why are those men fighting with Max?

  Agent 99 : Oh, eh, they're from a rival greeting card company.

  99's Mother : I had no idea the competition was so fierce in the greeting card company.