- Maxwell Smart: [Max and 99, both dressed as Charlie Chaplin are trapped in a room with KAOS agents trying to break in at either side] 99, there's something I have to tell you.
- # 99: What is it, Max?
- Maxwell Smart: Well, we've known each other for a long time and well, we've been through a lot of things together.
- # 99: Go on, Max.
- Maxwell Smart: Well, It's just that I... well I have to tell ya how I really feel about you. I wanted to... tell ya for a long, long time but I just... well I've never been able to find the right words. You see 99, it's not easy to say... well, it's not easy to say...
- # 99: To say I love you, Max?
- Maxwell Smart: Yes.
- # 99: Well why don't you let me say it for you: I love you, Max.
- Maxwell Smart: No, no, 99, that's not want I want to say, I wanted to say I love you 99.
- # 99: I know. I'm saying I love you too, Max.
- Maxwell Smart: You do?
- # 99: I always have.
- [they kiss passionately]
- Maxwell Smart: You know, 99? If we could get out of this trap I'd marry you.
- # 99: [cheering up] You would?
- Maxwell Smart: Of course I would.
- # 99: Now that you mention it, Max, there is a way out.
- Maxwell Smart: [suddenly skeptical] There is?
- # 99: What about the old double door deception trick? It just might work.
- Maxwell Smart: Of course. The old double door deception trick, it just might work!
- Agent 99: You're not taking me on this assignment, are you, Max?
- Maxwell Smart: Eh... no, I'm not.
- Agent 99: You can't leave me out of this one, Max! This is the most important case that's ever been given to Control, this could mean the end of the world.
- Maxwell Smart: That's exactly why I'm not letting you go on this mission. If it's going to mean the end of the world, I want to make sure that you're all right.
- Maxwell Smart: This is top security. I'll use my garter phone.
- [starts rolling up pant leg]
- # 99: Why are you wearing two garters?
- Maxwell Smart: How do you like that? They tapped my garter phone.
- Maxwell Smart: [dressed as a Mexican musician] You know something, 99, I like you with a moustache.
- # 99: [wearing a Charlie Chaplin outfit] Thanks.
- Maxwell Smart: Don't shave it off.
- Pilot: Chief, we're at 30,000 feet, again.