- Chief: [having been handed a picture] Why for crying out loud, this is the baseball team I coached when I was an instructor at the Control training school.
- Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: Well for heaven's sake. Which one is you, Chief?
- Chief: [points] Right there.
- Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: Oh, the one with the black baseball cap on.
- Chief: That's not a black baseball cap, that's my hair.
- Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: Oh really? How come it's got an initial on it?
- Chief: Listenger is the only man on that baseball team who failed to become a Control agent.
- Ace Weems: Yeah, but he succeeded into becoming something else.
- Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: What was that?
- Ace Weems: A really great murderer.
- [pause]
- Ace Weems: A really, top-notch murderer. One of the great murderers of all time. Which, really, he was not an ordinary murderer, he was a murderer's murderer I would say. You know, not one you'd meet every day at the store...
- Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: Well, you forgot one thing, my friend. Adrian Listenger was hard of hearing.
- Ace Weems: [cocking his head toward Max] ... What?
- Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: Just a minute, Listenger, there's one thing I'd like to know: why did you kill all those Control agents on the baseball team?
- Ace Weems: Because you guys were mean to me and cruel to me and you were always throwing baseballs at me.
- Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: But you were the catcher!
- Chief: [Max and the Chief have been accused of trying to kill each other] Ridiculous, Max is like son to me.
- Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: More than that, the Chief is like a father to me.
- Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: Wait a minute, Chief, there's a guy up there with a gun on us, who has the same set of fingerprints as Adrian Listenger!