The Golden Girls (TV Series)
Isn't It Romantic? (1986)
Estelle Getty: Sophia Petrillo
Quotes
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Blanche : [coming in to Dorothy's room in the middle of the night] What is going on? I heard you laughing, what's so funny?
Sophia : For starters, Jean is a Lesbian.
Blanche : What's funny about that?
Sophia : You aren't surprised?
Blanche : Of course not. I mean, I've never known any personally, but isn't Danny Thomas one?
Dorothy : Not Lebanese, Blanche! Lesbian!
Blanche : Lesbian... Lesbian... Lesbian! But isn't that when one woman and another...
Dorothy : We already know what it means.
Blanche : But... Jean's a very attractive woman! She could have any man she wants!
Dorothy : She doesn't want them.
Blanche : Well, why not? A man has so much more to offer, you know what I mean, Dorothy?
Dorothy : Yeah, I found that out when Mark Perper was running for class president in the third grade.
Blanche : Why? What does that have to do with anything?
Dorothy : Well, his campaign slogan was, "Vote for me, and I'll show you my wee-wee." He won by a landslide!
Blanche : Well, I'll never understand what Jean doesn't see in the opposite sex, but hey, if that's what makes her happy, that's fine by me.
Dorothy : There's one other thing.
Sophia : Jean thinks she's in love with Rose.
Blanche : Rose? Jean has the hots for Rose? I don't believe it! I do not believe it!
Dorothy : I was pretty surprised myself.
Blanche : Well, I'll bet! To think Jean would prefer Rose over me, that's ridiculous! Now, you tell me the truth! If you had to pick between me and Rose, who would you pick? Who?
Dorothy : Blanche, pull yourself together!
Blanche : Oh, I'm sorry. Does Rose know?
Dorothy : No.
Blanche : Oh, good. I don't think you ought to tell her. After all, she's not as worldly and sophisticated about these things as I am.
Sophia : Absolutely. If she finds out Danny Thomas is a Lesbian, it'll break her heart!
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Sophia : Jean is a nice person. She happens to like girls instead of guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs. Frankly, I'd rather live with a Lesbian than a cat. Unless a Lesbian sheds - that I don't know.
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Dorothy : Ma.
Sophia : Is it morning already?
Dorothy : No. No, I just wanted to ask you a question.
Sophia : What?
Dorothy : How would you react if you were told that one of your kids was gay?
Sophia : Your brother, Phil, is gay? I knew it! When he was a kid, we couldn't keep him away from those gladiator movies!
Dorothy : Ma, Phil is not gay.
Sophia : You mean, you're gay? What, your friend, Jean, is having some sort of membership drive?
Dorothy : Ma!
Sophia : Dorothy, I know you don't get many dates, but stick with what you know. At your age, it's very hard to break into something new. G'night.
Dorothy : Ma, Ma, I am not gay. I just wanted to get your reaction.
Sophia : I'll tell you the truth, Dorothy. If one of my kids was gay, I wouldn't love him one bit less. I would wish him all the happiness in the world!
Dorothy : That's because you're the greatest mother in the world, and I love you.
Sophia : Fine. Now keep your fat mouth shut so I can get some sleep.