- Rose Nylund: You can't write me off just because I'm not 30-something. I AM the battered consumer, I drive a Gremlin for God's sake.
- Rose Nylund: [about a bag lady she sees everyday] She has everything she owns in the world in one of those pushcarts. You feel sorry for people like that but you always wonder HOW they got in that predicament? Oh, you think she must've just been lazy, or she must've been pretty stupid to let that happen to her. But the truth is... she's me.
- Sophia Petrillo: I need money for a medical emergency.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: What's wrong with you, Ma?
- Sophia Petrillo: I think I'm pregnant.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: What happened? The rabbit die laughing?
- Rose Nylund: [reading letter] This is terrible!
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Trick move by your checkers-by-mail partner?