- Rose Nylund: I know, girls. Let's make a pact, that we'll always take care of each other, that we'll never desert each other, no matter what.
- Blanche Devereaux: You can count on me, honey.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Do you think it's gonna be that easy getting rid of me, Rose?
- [Rose looks worried]
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: That was rhetorical, Rose. But what a comforting thought, knowing you'll never be alone.
- Blanche Devereaux: And listen, what the hell? If we do go to a nursing home, let's all go together.
- Rose Nylund: But what happens when there's only one of us left?
- Administrator Cummings: Problems, problems! The world is bringing me problems! And you are?
- Sophia Petrillo: We are the world
- Sophia Petrillo: Why do we let things like this happen? Why can't we take care of our elderly like they do in Japan? WHY are there 17 sets of hooters on the coffee table!
- Blanche Devereaux: Those are mine, Sophia.
- Sophia Petrillo: Oh, well let me put on my big "surprise face"!
- John Gale: Okay, let's fill this out.
- Sophia Petrillo: Uh, please.
- John Gale: And you are?
- Sophia Petrillo: Sophia. Sophia Pe- Hawkins.
- John Gale: OK, Mrs. Pehawkins, um... Maybe you can tell me a little bit about your mother's history?
- Sophia Petrillo: Picture it. Sicily, 1900. An olive-skinned woman sets sail for the new world.
- John Gale: I was talking about her medical history.
- Sophia Petrillo: So was I. You think that was a pleasure cruise? There was smallpox, scurvy, typhoid. And that was business class.
- Sophia Petrillo: [Rose mistakes the wrong woman for Lillian] That's not Lillian!
- Rose Nylund: You said you were Lillian!
- Woman: You think I'm in here because I'm good with names?
- Sophia Petrillo: [Rose brings an elderly black couple while looking for Lillian] Rose, what the hell is going on? I ask for Lillian, you bring me Eubie Blake's parents!
- Sophia Petrillo: [enters the kitchen] Hello, what's shakin
- Rose Nylund: apparently Blanches breasts, that's why she's going to...
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Shut-up Rose