- [Graeme is brewing an antidote for his new, improved Snooze formula, which is an extremely powerful sedative. He is documenting his work on a Dictaphone]
- Graeme Garden: ...and that should produce the correct antidote. Yes. Now to test it. First, I take a big swig of new improved Snooze...
- [He drinks from a nearby cup of Snooze]
- Graeme Garden: ...and now for the anti...
- [passes out before he can reach the antidote]
- Rupert Windcheater: I'm sorry for bursting in like this, but I'm a frightfully busy man and my secretary didn't have time to make an appointment.
- Bill Oddie: There's no need to apologise. Get out!
- [the Goodies accidentally poured too much of Graeme's antidote in to the London reservoir. Now everybody is extremely hyperactive as a result]
- Rupert Windcheater: The only way to calm them all down again is to give them all snooze! The government has come down on Beachrow Products like a ton of bricks, and I can tell you something!
- Bill Oddie: What?
- Rupert Windcheater: The prime minister at ten times is usual speed is not funny!
- Bill Oddie: Oh, he must be!
- [Graeme's new Snooze formula has sent everyone who's tried it to sleep almost instantaneously]
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: What about him?
- [Referring to Bill]
- Graeme Garden: Well, it only sent him to sleep.
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: For three days?
- Rupert Windcheater: [very hyper, addressing the wrong one as he says each of their names] Tim! Graeme! So good to see you! So glad you could make it! Now, listen, the directors and I have got some great news. Somebody's developed a new, improved "Snooze."
- Graeme Garden: I know, I did.
- Rupert Windcheater: Yes, you did. Great!
- Graeme Garden: And I sent you a sample this morning.
- Rupert Windcheater: But the important thing is, we got a sample this morning...
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: HE sent it!
- Rupert Windcheater: And he sent it.
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: You do realize you've knocked out the entire board of Beech Row Products, and they're not going to take that lying down! This will ruin us!
- Graeme Garden: Look, don't worry. The effect's only temporary. It'll wear off... in two or three weeks.
- Graeme Garden: [Voiceover in one of the "Snooze" adverts] My dog's full of energy. Always on the go. A right little tearaway. Never still for a minute - howling all night, scratching all over the place, won't come when he's called, eats my trousers - he never stops! That's why I give him "Snooze". That keeps the stupid mutt quiet!
- Bill Oddie: [singing the sleepwalking song] Don't know where I'm going, got my eyes closed! Don't know what I'm doing, I can't see! Don't know where I'm going now, but it's so far away! Please! Help! Me! Show me the way, Show me the way! Somebody show me the way! I'm lonely, and lost, and I wanna go home - Somebody show me the way!
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: The whole country's completely paralyzed!
- Graeme Garden: Well, every new invention has it's little setbacks.
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: We've got to wake everyone up, before they starve!
- [runs to the door, shrieking]
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: WAKE UP, EVERYBODY! EVERYBODY WAKE UP!
- Bill Oddie: [Stops him] It must be late - you'll wake the neighbors!