The Goodies (TV Series)
South Africa (1975)
Philip Madoc: Travel Agent, Customs Officer
Photos
Quotes
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[all the non-whites have left South Africa, throwing the nation into turmoil]
Travel Agent : That's why the government have introduced a new form of segregation.
Bill : Ah, that's exactly the sort of thing this country needs, mate, I'll tell ya.
Travel Agent : [portentously] I'm glad you agree.
Bill : I agree...
Travel Agent : [revealing to Tim and Graeme] "Apart-Height."
[Tim, Graeme, and the Agent start cackling among themselves]
Travel Agent : Here, read the instructions!
[Graeme and Tim start cackling at Bill, who obliviously laughs back]
Graeme : [reading] "Instruction Number One: Pin up wall chart."
Bill : [pinning up the chart] Pin up wall chart, I can do this, I can do this, eh?
Graeme : "Instruction Number Two: Stand by chart."
[Tim stands next to the chart, clearing the mark]
Graeme : "If you are taller than the mark, all right."
[Bill enthusiastically takes his turn at the chart]
Graeme : "If you don't reach it..."
Bill : Yeah?
Graeme : "Tough luck."
[Bill tries standing on a stair to clear the mark]
Graeme : "And no cheating. Now that all the non-whites have left, congratulations! You are one of the lucky new band of second-class citizens."
Bill : [shocked] What, me?
Graeme : "Yes, you, short-house. All the rules previously applied to non-whites will now apply to you."
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Travel Agent : Good man. And here's your camera.
Graeme : Ah. Black and white?
Travel Agent : [deeply offended] Just white.