- Bill Oddie: Do you really think I could make it? To the top?
- Isabel Chintz: Well I've done it before. Tom Jones.
- Bill Oddie: Tom Jones?
- Isabel Chintz: Oh yes. I gave him that butch, tough, he man image, you know. When I found him he was doing a drag act in Merthyr Tydfil.
- Isabel Chintz: Tonight you're going to perform the big show-stopping amazingly tasteless number on Top of the Pops. Oh kids, when Tony Blackburn sees it he's going to drop dead with embarrassment.
- Graeme Garden: Oh well, at least some good will come of it.