The Goodies (TV Series)

The New Office (1973)

Graeme Garden: Graeme Garden

Quotes 

• [Tim unpacks a curious artifact to decorate his part of the office] 

  Bill : What's that?

  Tim : An elephant's foot umbrella stand.

  Bill : [offended]  Wha...? El- Elephant's foot? Oh, you're not having that in here. I mean, that's cruel! I'll report you to the RSPCA.

  Graeme : Oh, leave him alone.

  Bill : No, I'm not!

  [Bill mutters something as he opens the door to the foyer and starts tugging at an elephant's trunk] 

  Bill : Come on, in ya come. Right...

  Tim : Wha... What's that?

  Bill : Three-legged elephant.

  [Tim looks aghast] 

  Bill : I just hope it makes you feel guilty.

• Builder : Well, if you're going to build your own, you'll need some land, and I've got the very thing. A real bargain at a hundred thousand pounds.

  Tim : Ooo. Hundred thousand. Well, how much have we got?

  Graeme : [rooting through his pockets]  I've got, uh... What? Fifty-five pence...

  Tim : And that's eight... eight and a half pence... That makes sixty-three and a half pence. Bill?

  Bill : [with enormous pile of cash]  Uh, ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine pounds, thirty-six and a half pence.

  Tim : That's a hundred thousand pounds exactly. Hoo, that was lucky!