- Eustace Charleton Haney: Mr. Douglas, I put my heart and soul into that house.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: You should have used lumber.
- Eb Dawson: Well if you won't lend me the car, would you lend me the front seat?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: What do you want the front seat for?
- Eb Dawson: It'll look a lot better than standing at the drive-in all through the movie.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: You can't have the car or the front seat.
- Eb Dawson: How 'bout the horn? So as we can toot during intermission.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Well, hello, Mr. Haney.
- Eustace Charleton Haney: That'll be 12 dollars.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Just for saying hello?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [about the Monroe brothers] You really think they're good, huh?
- Sam Drucker: Did you see what they did for Fred Ziffel?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Yes.
- [rolls eyes]
- Sam Drucker: Oh, that door o' his really swings now.