- Lisa Douglas: [to Haney, discussing Bertram not crowing] We didn't hear a peep out of him!
- Eustace Charleton Haney: Well, he ain't a peeper. He's a crower.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: He's not a crower. He's a pecker!
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Uh, please, you haven't told me what you think of the farm, yet.
- Hank Kimball: What I think?
- [trying to avoid answering]
- Hank Kimball: Well, uh. Actually, it's, uh. Well, you see, a farm is, uh.
- [getting into jeep]
- Hank Kimball: I'll try and rush this report right through!
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: If there's something wrong, I'd like to know what it is.
- Hank Kimball: What it is? What it is.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Yes, give me your frank opinion.
- Hank Kimball: Frank opinion? Well, uh.
- Eb Dawson: Want me to wipe the perspiration off your forehead, Mr. Kimball?
- Lisa Douglas: All right darling, you can drive me to Hootersville now.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Eh, sweetheart, as long as we're gonna live here, you should learn to pronounce the name of the town correctly: 'Hooterville'.
- Lisa Douglas: All right, let's go to Hoosterville.
- Eb Dawson: [Ed walks up] You going into Hoosterville?