- Eb Dawson: [Oliver's first day actually farming] Okay, what do ya want to plant?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Look, you don't just go out in the fields and scatter around a hand full of seeds. You gotta plan what you're gonna plant.
- Eb Dawson: Mr. Haney never did.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Yes, and did Mr. Haney ever make any money on this farm?
- Eb Dawson: Not until you came along and bought it.
- [Mr. Douglas and Eb take cover behind a tree after the tractor breaks down. The rusty old contraption just sits there]
- Eb Dawson: Doggone, Mr. Douglas. I think it likes you. It used to chase Mr. Haney.
- Lisa Douglas: [in New York City] I just came back to ship our furniture to Green Acres.
- Mother Eunice Douglas: Green Acres? You mean Yuck Manor.
- Lisa Douglas: Darling, don't get so excited. I'm only trying to make the place livable.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: I just wanted you to fix it up a little. Something simple, just for the two of us.
- Lisa Douglas: For the three of us.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [believing she's pregnant] The three of us?
- Lisa Douglas: Yes, darling. You, me, and Eleanor.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Oh, that cow?
- Lisa Douglas: [Mother is appalled to learn Lisa has taken up cooking] I am sure there must be other women who cook for their husbands.
- Mother Eunice Douglas: [shaking her head] Nobody I know.