- Eb Dawson: Chuck says he sleeps till two o'clock in the afternoon. He's gonna teach me how to do it.
- Oliver Douglas: There's one thing you don't need: that's lazy lessons. Now get to work!
- Oliver Douglas: I'm gonna have a long talk with that nephew of yours.
- Lisa Douglas: He's your nephew!
- Oliver Douglas: I just gave him to you.
- Hank Kimball: What are they?
- Lisa Douglas: Hotcakes sandwiches.
- Oliver Douglas: Hot cake sandwiches?
- Lisa Douglas: Yes, two hotcakes with one hotcake in between.
- Chuck: Hey unc, eh, where'd ya get this thing from, Ben Hur?
- Oliver Douglas: This is a tractor.
- Chuck: Oh. What does it do?
- Oliver Douglas: Right now, nothing.
- Oliver Douglas: [Mr. Haney demands $ 48,50 for damages] Could we make that an even amount?
- Mr. Haney: Sure!
- Oliver Douglas: [reaches into his pocket] Here's, eh, 50 cents.