- Dennis Finch: If I get killed, tell Courtney in accounting I love her and erase all the porn on my computer.
- Dennis Finch: Look here, Up With People. I don't know what you're so bubbly about, but let me offer you a little analogy. This here is the lion's den, I am the lion. If you want to hang around the lion's den, you'll have to learn to deal with the lion. Are we clear?
- Kenny: Wow, I understand. Now let me offer you this little analogy.
- [Staples Dennis' tie to the desk]
- Kenny: I am the God of Hellfire! And so help me, I will put my fist through your skull!
- Dennis Finch: What?
- Kenny: I'm going to rip out your head, run it through a shredder, and put it in a box!
- Dennis Finch: You're going to rip off my head?
- Kenny: And put it in a box!
- Nina Van Horn: I'm giving up a really filthy habit.
- Dennis Finch: You're gonna have to be more specific.
- Jack Gallo: Two assistants and I'm not sleeping with either one of them. My, times sure have changed.
- Nina Van Horn: That's sweet, but I have this strict policy against dating coworkers. Well, it's not so much a policy per se. It's more of a loosely enforced suggestion, at the request of my lawyer.
- Kenny: I am super pumped to be here.
- Dennis Finch: Yeah, little advise, we don't really do "super pumped" around here. We're a little more stand-offish.
- Maya Gallo: Will you wear one of our buttons?
- Elliot DiMauro: [reading button] "Drugs hurt."
- Maya Gallo: [puts on button] Ouch! Shoot, I'm bleeding.
- Elliot DiMauro: There's a band-aid over there.
- Maya Gallo: Thank you.
- Elliot DiMauro: You should just say no to "no drugs" buttons.
- Nina Van Horn: I'll be in my office. Don't barge in during my naked meditation hour. It's three to four, or whenever you can show up.
- Dennis Finch: I'm sorry if I insulted you, but it's what I do. I'm a bit of a cut-up.
- Kenny: I'll cut *you* up!
- Dennis Finch: Ooh, I walked right into that one.
- Dennis Finch: I want to talk to you about Kenny.
- Jack Gallo: Isn't he great? Peppy.
- Dennis Finch: Yeah. What did his references say?
- Jack Gallo: References? Anyone who's good enough for the U.S. Postal Service is good enough for me.
- Lisa Cantwell: [introducing cameraman] This is Mike.
- Maya Gallo: Mike with the mike. I know this guy named Rod, he hangs curtains.