Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)
Finch on Ice (2000)
Laura San Giacomo: Maya Gallo
Quotes
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Nina Van Horn : Friends, clear your calendars. Two nights from tonight, the A&E network is airing my Biography.
Maya Gallo : Oh, Nina. That's great.
Dennis Finch : Bottom of the Barrel Week continues, with Nina Van Horn.
Nina Van Horn : It's called Comeback Week, you little hedgehog.
Dennis Finch : Oh! Did you know the hedgehog at the zoo is pregnant? Artificial insemination.
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Nina Van Horn : Maya, you're blonde.
Maya Gallo : Yes.
Nina Van Horn : Wow! And may I say, you look hot.
Maya Gallo : Thank you, Nina. That's so sweet.
[after Nina leaves, Maya speaks into her tape recorder]
Maya Gallo : Women are jealous, feel threatened by new me.
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Jack Gallo : Dennis, what are you doing?
[sees him staring at a blond woman bent over]
Jack Gallo : Ah, I see you also appreciate a nice backyard.
Dennis Finch : Jack, don't...
Jack Gallo : Just because I'm married, doesn't mean I can't apreciate the view.
Dennis Finch : You're the boss.
Jack Gallo : Oh, yes. Come to daddy.
[the woman turns around; it's Maya]
Maya Gallo : Oh, morning, dad.
Dennis Finch : Want me to drive you uptown so you can hit on you mom?
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Elliot DiMauro : There's nothing wrong with a little fantasy. It's healthy. Shows I'm willing to be intimate with you.
Maya Gallo : What was I, some tattooed floozy in thigh-high boots you picked up on some bar?
Elliot DiMauro : No.
Maya Gallo : Then what?
Elliot DiMauro : A naked blonde stranger who wanted to have sex with me. Men don't need all that extra stuff.
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Maya Gallo : How did the aquarium shoot go?
Elliot DiMauro : Oh, they threw us out. Apparently, my flash enraged the giant squid.
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Maya Gallo : Elliot, we need to talk.
Elliot DiMauro : Not now. I'm busy.
Maya Gallo : You're eating pudding.
Elliot DiMauro : Yes, but I'm fantasizing it's Jello.
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Dennis Finch : Does Elliot know?
Maya Gallo : Not yet. He's in a photo shoot at the Bronx Zoo.
Dennis Finch : Oh, did you hear the rhino there has a pet kitten named Rocky? You learn a lot if you rent the headsets.
-
Maya Gallo : How was the zoo shoot?
Elliot DiMauro : Terrible. None of the animals wanted to come out, except for a spider monkey who spent the whole day pleasuring himself. I'm so tired. I just want to lie down.
Maya Gallo : [steps in with her blonde hair] Are you sure?
Elliot DiMauro : Then again, you snooze, you lose.