- Dale Gribble: Quitting smoking is the best thing I've ever done. Check this out.
- [Does jumping jacks; after a couple, he starts coughing and collapses on the ground]
- Dale Gribble: See? Two weeks ago, that would have killed me.
- Hank Hill: [about a fart machine] This is not funny. This is a waste of a good 9-volt battery. How do the Chinese get talked into making these things?