The L Word (TV Series)

Let's Do It (2004)

Laurel Holloman: Tina Kennard

Quotes 

• Bette : It has to end.

  Tina : But seriously, Alice, you can't let Gabby continue to treat you this way.

  Alice : You guys don't know her. I know it looks like she's treating me like shit, but it's... she's just, you know...

  Tina : Treating you like shit, Al.

  Alice : Maybe, it's just...

  Bette : No. It's just you deserve better.

  Alice : I do? All right, I do. But... I just feel like at times, she's, like, so right there, and I feel like we connect and then, all of a sudden, she acts like I don't even exist.

  Tina : That's because she's an emotional cripple.

  Bette : Yeah. Emotional cripple, slash, narcissistic personality disorder.

  Tina : And the next time she calls you? You have to end it.

  Alice : I know. It's just...

  Bette : [firmly]  It's just nothing.

  Tina : What are you gonna do?

  Alice : Well, I was gonna ask her...

  Bette : No asking.

  Tina : What are you gonna tell her? You're gonna say, "Gabby, I really enjoy the time we've spent together, but it is obvious to me that we are in different places in our lives and we want different things out of a relationship, and I respect myself too much to let you continue to treat me this way."

  Bette : [continuing from Tina]  "It's clear to me now that you are an emotional cripple without any kind of capacity to understand true love."

  Tina : [picking up from Bette]  "And I'm no longer willing to waste my valuable time on you."

  Bette : "So step off, bitch!"

  Tina : Do it.

• Bette : [trying to ascertain Lara's orientation based on the limited data that Dana's provided]  Dana, honey, we can't, you know, possibly make any kind of accurate analysis when you haven't even had a conversation with her. I mean, we need something to go on.

  Dana : Well, she sends me food.

  Bette : Mmmhmmm.

  Dana : She... she sends me vegetables on skewers, with, um, with like these perfect little grill marks on them? And, um, sometimes she sends me these dipping sauces with like no fat or anything else heavy in them, not to mess up my training, you know.

  Tina : These skewered vegetables? Did she come up with them all on her own, or did you order them?

  Dana : No, she just sends them.

  Bette : But she hasn't spoken to you.

  Dana : No.

  Shane : [seriously]  Ask her out.

  Bette : No, no, no, Dana cannot do that. And that's totally understandable. You don't want to put yourself out there for someone who maybe is just being nice to you, because, you know, you're an important person at the club.

  Dana : Exactly.

  Alice : [rolling her eyes]  Please don't encourage her.

  Bette : It's okay, Dana. We are gonna take care of this.

  Alice : [gasping]  You mean?

  Bette : I mean.

  Dana : [laughing but obviously clueless]  What?

  Bette : [smiling]  We are going to deploy a mission to ascertain the disposition and intent of one Miss Lara Perkins.

• [Bette, Tina, Shane, and Alice have just visited Dana's country club to see if they can figure out if Lara is gay] 

  Alice : All right. So far, it's neck-and-neck.

  Bette : Well, she's got some good lezzie points for her walk, and the way she moves that chopping knife.

  Shane : Yeah, but she's way femmy on the coiffure tip.

  Alice : [to Bette and Tina]  Yeah, and her reaction to the two of you kissing was split because she didn't freak out which was a good sign, but she hardly paid any attention.

  Tina : Yeah, but you guys, she's got nine points in the lez column and she only has seven in the straight.

  Alice : Yeah, but the margin of error is plus or minus five percentage points.

  Bette : You know what we have to do.

  [They all look at Shane who looks back warily]