- Norman Litkey: Look what's going on around you. I mean, we got you, you got Leno, Arsenio, Letterman, Whoopi, Doopi, Poopi... now some chick in the supermarket swings the spotlight unto you and you're wanna let go right by and land on somebody else? I mean, this is a terrific opportunity and I'm wetting myself again.
- Norman Litkey: Hear me out. Hear me out. Why not have her on the show and apologize to her. I swear to Christ, this is brilliant. I mean, the only way you're gonna get better ratings is if you marry Hank on the air.
- Larry Sanders: God, you're a sick fuck.
- Norman Litkey: Thank you.
- Arthur: What's the word from the network, Norm?
- Norman Litkey: They were fine until they saw the tape then they started coughing up blood. I mean, half of the civilized world just gonna watch Entertainment Tonight in a few hours and they're gonna see Larry Sanders body-slamming a woman half his size into a metal wreck.
- Arthur: No...
- Norman Litkey: What?
- Arthur: Terrible.
- Norman Litkey: No! No, this is a publicity Bonanza. Gentlemen, I'm wetting myself.
- Larry Sanders: See, I can't do that. I can't be an asshole.
- Beverly Barnes: [eye-rolling] That must be really hard for you, Larry.
- Larry Sanders: It is. It's very frustrating. Think of Johnny Carson. Remember when Johnny got arrested for drunk driving and he made the front page of every newspaper?
- Beverly Barnes: Yeah.
- Larry Sanders: You know how many people get arrested for drunk driving everyday? They're not on the front page of newspapers, only Johnny Carson is on the front page of newspaper. Do you know why?
- Beverly Barnes: He was drunk!
- Larry Sanders: No, but he's Johnny, that's the point. You think she would have sold those tapes to Entertainment Tonight if I wasn't Larry Sanders? I'll move to Montana, that will make everybody happy.
- Larry Sanders: I was in the grocery store and I heard a crash but you know it's uh, it's a supermarket in L.A., I figured it was, you know, looting.
- Arthur: It's understandable, that'd be my first thought.