Conan O'Brien: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Conan O'Brien : [as a "contestant" on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire"] 

  [Regis Philbin: "For $8,000: What American historical figure wrote and published "Poor Richard's Almanack"? Ben Franklin, William Penn, Nathan Hale, Mark Twain."] 

  Conan O'Brien : [Conan laughs hysterically] 

  [Regis: "You remember this?"] 

  Conan O'Brien : What's to remember? It's so easy!

  [laughs some more] 

  Conan O'Brien : What am I, a moron? Oh... okay. Okay, Regis, I studied American history in junior high, so this one is a slam dunk. Nathan Hale.

  [Regis: "Final answer?"] 

  Conan O'Brien : ... Ben Franklin.

  [Regis: "Final answer?"] 

  Conan O'Brien : Nathan Hale.

  [Regis: "Final answer?"] 

  Conan O'Brien : No no no, it's William Penn. Definitely William Penn.

  [Regis: "Final answer?"] 

  Conan O'Brien : No.

  [Regis: "You've got one lifeline left."] 

  Conan O'Brien : No way. Lifelines are for losers. Ben Franklin, baby! Ben Franklin, all the way!

  [Regis: "Ben Franklin. Is that your final answer?"] 

  Conan O'Brien : No. World War II.

  [Regis: "World War II. Final answer?"] 

  Conan O'Brien : Fettuccine.

  [Regis: "Fettuccine. Is that your final answer?"] 

  Conan O'Brien : Indiana Jones.

  [Regis: "Indiana Jones. Final answer?"] 

  Conan O'Brien : ... I was a bed-wetter! Sorry, pressure kind of got to me.

  [Regis: "Are you Irish?"] 

  Conan O'Brien : What does that have to do with anything? I'm here to win a million bucks, old man.

  [Regis: "There ya go. What American historical figure wrote and published-"] 

  Conan O'Brien : Yeah yeah, I remember the question. Ben Franklin.

  [Regis: "Is that your final answer?"] 

  Conan O'Brien : My final answer is in my butt!

  [Regis: "Final answer?"] 

  Conan O'Brien : I'm gonna ask the audience.

  [Regis: "Absolutely. Audience, we need a little help here. Are you ready? If you are, on your keypads, using A, B, C, or D, please vote now."] 

  Conan O'Brien : [results: 54% say "D: Conan is a Moron"] 

  [Regis: "Well, it's pretty overwhelming."] 

  Conan O'Brien : They're always right. I'm gonna go with "Conan is a moron."

  [Regis: "They're right, you're right!"]