- Harriet Oleson: Mr. Kagan, I want you to know that I don't think there is any such thing as a right color or a wrong color for that matter. And I've always been the kind of person who always thought that it's what's inside a person that counts.
- Nels Oleson: [after unloading the ridiculously huge plaque his wife ordered] Oh, I think I hurt myself this time.
- Jonathan Garvey: You want me to get doc Baker?
- Nels Oleson: [holding his side in pain] I wish Harriet was here.
- Jonathan Garvey: You miss her that much?
- Nels Oleson: [Angrily] I'd kill her!