- Ethan's Stepmom: Ooh! I found a clue, I found a clue! I found a shoe!
- Ethan Craft: Uh, Tawny? That's your shoe.
- Lizzie McGuire: [animated Lizzie] Oh, no. Ethan's the smart one in his family.
- Lizzie McGuire: I didn't know it until I found this thousand-pound note.
- Ethan Craft: That little piece of paper weighs a thousand pounds?
- Larry Tudgeman: No, it's British money. A pound is like a dollar. Why am I even bothering to explain this?
- Veruca Albano: I always felt I was born in the wrong time.
- Larry Tudgeman: I always thought that I should have lived in the third age of middle Earth.
- Veruca Albano: Well, I was thinking more the 20's but yours is good, too.
- Kate Sanders: Tsk tsk, so very good at figuring out mysteries but so very blind as to see what's in front of your own nose.
- Lizzie McGuire: What are you talking about?
- Kate Sanders: Don't you see what's happening? Don't you see why Gordo's behaving this way?
- Lizzie McGuire: Um, yeah, 'cause he wants to beat me.
- Kate Sanders: WAKE UP, Lizzie! WHY does he want to beat you?
- Lizzie McGuire: Because he wants people to notice him.
- Kate Sanders: That's partly it. Gordo's human. He's probably just tired of being a doormat.
- Lizzie McGuire: Okay, but he does not have to be obnoxious to get noticed, Kate.
- Kate Sanders: Hello? He doesn't want just anybody to notice him. He wants you to notice him.
- Lizzie McGuire: Me...?
- Kate Sanders: Everybody at school can tell Gordo's had a crush on you for, like, ever.
- Lizzie McGuire: That's crazy, Kate.
- Kate Sanders: You've just been busy paying attention to Ethan. Gordo thinks if he wins, you'll pay attention to him. So why don't you do him a favor and yourself a favor and I'll pay attention to Ethan.
- Lizzie McGuire: So... congratulations, old chap.
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Yeah, you did really well, too.
- Lizzie McGuire: Well, you're the one everyone was talking about. I mean, people noticed you.
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Yeah, well, I shouldn't care what people think. It's not that important.
- Lizzie McGuire: Well, you impressed me.
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: I did? Great. I mean, um, you're my best friend. Why wouldn't I want to impress you? And, and, you were very impressive, too. You know, with the, uh... stuff.
- Lizzie McGuire: [animated Lizzie] Okay, it doesn't take a detective to figure this one out. Kate's right. Gordo likes me.
- Lizzie McGuire: So, I impressed you, and you impressed me. It's all good.
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Yeah. All systems go. You know, Lizzie, maybe sometime we could, um, you know...
- Sam McGuire: Hey, Lizzie? You're missing the eel-cooking competition.
- Lizzie McGuire: I'll be right there, Dad.
- [to Gordo]
- Lizzie McGuire: Maybe sometime we could what?
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Nothing. Just you know, do this again sometime. It's your turn to win.
- Lizzie McGuire: Sounds good.
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Um, so I guess I'll see you later?
- Lizzie McGuire: Yeah, see you. Good night.
- [Animated Lizzie]
- Lizzie McGuire: So, it looks like Gordo likes me. But, he's just my friend. I mean, that's how I've always thought of him.
- [out loud]
- Lizzie McGuire: So why do I feel all flushed and light-headed?
- Lizzie McGuire: [animated Lizzie] But what if Gordo's not being immature? What if Kate's right and he really does want to win to impress me? I can do a lot with my head but I cannot get it around that idea. And if I name the wrong suspect, I could let Gordo win.
- Lizzie McGuire: That one person, our mystery culprit is...
- Lizzie McGuire: [animated Lizzie] But if I do that, does that mean I like Gordo?
- Lizzie McGuire: Guy Gaviota.
- Lizzie McGuire: [animated Lizzie] Well, I guess we're gonna find out.
- Ethan Craft: My father's dead.
- Ethan's Stepmom: Yes! I inherit everything!
- Ethan Craft: Tawni, not my real dad. The one in the murder mystery.
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: And I'm Penelope Featherstone. The blushing maiden Clyde's making his own? Can I choose again?
- Jo McGuire: Shrimp?
- Ethan's Stepmom: Uh, uh. I'm 5'10" in heels.
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: It must be something in the water at Ethan's house.
- Jo McGuire: That's it! I did it and I'd do it again. McGuffin promised to marry me, but he cheated on me. He cheated it all straights and he cheated on his taxes! He's a monster, a louser, and I'm glad he's dead. I'm happy about it don't you see? He's dead! He's dead, he's dead, he's dead, he's dead, he's dead. I'm happy about it!
- Sam McGuire: Honey, honey.
- Jo McGuire: Wa-? Oh... well. Gordo caught me.
- Matt McGuire: Don't anybody touch anything! I am Inspector Pratt and I am here to inspect!
- Lizzie McGuire: Matt, what are you doing here?
- Matt McGuire: I just wanted to see who croaked dad!
- Lizzie McGuire: Well, you can do that somewhere else, like in the Sahara Desert?
- Matt McGuire: Mom!
- Jo McGuire: Lizzie, let your bother play.
- Lizzie McGuire: Ow!
- Matt McGuire: I think I'll go study this in the parlor.
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: He won this from none other than... the maid.
- Ethan's Stepmom: Which one was that again?
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Mrs. McGuire?
- Ethan Craft: Come on, Tawny. You're embarrassing me.