Lost in Space (TV Series)

War of the Robots (1966)

Dick Tufeld: The Robot

Quotes 

• The Robot : [to Dr. Smith]  Object fish has eluded capture.

  Will Robinson : He got away, sir.

  Dr. Zachary Smith : Not even the greatest expert could have landed that monster. He must have weighed a hundred pounds.

  Will Robinson : ALL your fish got away.

  Dr. Zachary Smith : Are you suggesting my failure is due to a lack of ability?

  Will Robinson : Well, you're the only one who didn't catch anything.

  The Robot : As you have said, "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."

• Will Robinson : What's wrong with you today? Your audio unit gone bad? I mean, I have to ask you everything three times before you obey.

  The Robot : I compute you well.

  Will Robinson : Then what's wrong?

  The Robot : This project is extremely dangerous.

  Will Robinson : NOW, LOOK! I'M NOT GONNA GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN! I'M GONNA GET THIS ROBOT FIXED AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!

  The Robot : Correction: not robot - robotoid.

  Will Robinson : Now, look. Who cares WHAT it's called. All I wanna do is get it working.

  The Robot : A robot is a machine which performs as programmed. A robotoid is a machine that goes beyond programming. It has a free choice: good, bad, wrong, right, slow, fast, hot, cold, loud...

  Will Robinson : All right. All right. Just forget it. FOR-get it.

• The Robot : [to the lifeless robotoid]  I am not fooled by your silence. You are aware. You have been aware ever since your fusion unit was refined two days ago. You can not hide from me like you do others. Do you wish to speak? Very well. Then I will do what I must.

• Maj. Don West : Why would you want to destroy the robotoid?

  The Robot : I do not like it.

  Prof. John Robinson : Hate is not an emotion you possess.

  The Robot : I do not LIKE it.

  Maj. Don West : The robotoid doesn't represent any danger to you.

  The Robot : I repeat, I... do... not... like it!

• The Robot : Stop, William Robinson. I will accompany you. You may need protection.

  Will Robinson : I'm big enough to take care of myself.

  The Robot : True, but I am a little bigger.

  Will Robinson : Well, maybe a few inches or so.

• Robotoid : It is time we talked.

  The Robot : Proceed.

  Robotoid : Now that I have full operational capabilities, your services will no longer be required.

  The Robot : I am needed by the Robinsons. I was also here first.

  Robotoid : The principle of first come first served is an old-fashioned concept.

  The Robot : My programming has been extensive. My memory banks contain much knowledge.

  Robotoid : In comparison to myself, you are very ignorant.

• The Robot : You forget that a robot has no heart. I am only wires and cold metal parts.

  Will Robinson : But the robotoid has everyone a prisoner in the Jupiter 2, and he's sending for some aliens to come and take them away. We need your help.

  The Robot : It does not compute.

  Will Robinson : Yes, it does! You just don't wanna listen!

  The Robot : The Robinsons are no longer my responsibility. They are no longer my family.

  Will Robinson : Well, what about Dr. Smith? I know you wanna help him.

  The Robot : Dr. Smith has rejected me most of all. I will go now.

  Will Robinson : No, wait! I'm your friend. You know that. Help them for me.

  The Robot : You are my friend, Will. What do you wish done?

  Will Robinson : You've got to deactivate the alien robot.

  The Robot : That is a task more easily suggested than accomplished.

• The Robot : I am only the end result of those who programmed me.

  Prof. John Robinson : Well, that may be true, but there's something more, too. Something that doesn't make sense. You're more than a machine.

• The Robot : [repeating this to himself]  I am not jealous. It is a human emotion.

• The Robot : Do you need any help, Dr. Smith?

  Dr. Zachary Smith : [cruelly]  There are many things which need to be done, but, unfortunately, you are incapable of doing any of them.

  The Robot : No one requires my services anymore.

  Dr. Zachary Smith : An astute observation. You, sir, have reached the end of the line. The joyride is over. I had planned to redesign you possibly into a pleasure vehicle, but I think you would be substandard even as that.

  The Robot : What is my course of action?

  Dr. Zachary Smith : A quick departure seems a very good choice.

  The Robot : Are you sure there is no other solution?

  Dr. Zachary Smith : None whatsoever, goodbye.

  The Robot : Then I will go. Say goodbye to the others for me?

  Dr. Zachary Smith : I will, goodbye.

  The Robot : Especially Will.

  Dr. Zachary Smith : Yes-yes-yes, goodbye.

  The Robot : Fair well, Dr. Smith.

  Dr. Zachary Smith : I detest drawn out departures. Go and get it over with.

• The Robot : I owe no loyalty to these Earth people. They are not of my own kind. We are alike. We must work together.