M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Father's Day (1980)
Andrew Duggan: Col. Alvin 'Howitzer' Houlihan
Photos
Quotes
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Col. Sherman T. Potter : You know, I never got the chance to tell you how much Margaret means to us. We couldn't run this place without her.
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : Well, that gal is the best thing that ever happened to me!
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Is that so? Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it.
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : I beg your pardon?
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Margaret's busted her britches trying to please you, but you don't seem to give a tinker's damn!
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : Forgive me, Colonel, but what business is that of yours?
Col. Sherman T. Potter : It is my business because I care about her. That gal seems to think you have no use for her.
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : Well, I flew halfway around the world to see her, didn't I? That should say it all.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : It doesn't say enough when all you can do is find fault.
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : What do you mean by that?
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Well, for openers, walking out on her in the middle of O.R. didn't exactly boost her morale.
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : [looking away from Potter] That had nothing to do with Margaret!
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Really? Then what did it have to do with?
[Alvin does not respond]
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Was it the doctors' Tom Foolery?
[Alvin still does not respond]
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Was it the blood?
[Alvin looks up]
Col. Sherman T. Potter : [walks a step away and turns around again to face Alvin] Let me tell you something, Alvin, I've seen tougher birds than you who couldn't take it!
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : It shouldn't be happening to me.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : You mean you'd sooner let her think she was a failure than admit you were about to lose your lunch? You'd rather crush her feelings than let on you're human like the rest of us?
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : Colonel...
Col. Sherman T. Potter : You're so busy being 'Howitzer Al' Houlihan you can't even let your own daughter know you love her?
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : Colonel, you raise your family and I'll raise mine.
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'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : Do you men always dress this casual?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Well, there's been no formal declaration of war.
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : Makes no difference. You're still soldiers.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : How 'bout we all have a drink? It's on me.
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : You fellas don't have a hell of a lot of respect for the army, do you?
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Oh, let's not talk shop. I'll have a beer, Colonel. How about you, Hawk?
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : You're damn lucky to be wearing your country's uniform. How dare you clowns make a mockery of it.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Well, why shouldn't we be clowns? We're living in a three-ring circus.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Uh, that's one beer, and what are you having, Pierce?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : I think I've had just about enough.