M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Mad Dogs and Servicemen (1974)
Alan Alda: Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce
Photos
Quotes
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Major Franklin Marion Burns : [about the paralyzed kid] It's disgraceful, a US solder crawling on the ground.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Tell that to the infantry, Frank...
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Major Franklin Marion Burns : I outrank you corpsman, I can have you punished.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : We'll do you one better, we'll sew your helmet to your head.
Major Franklin Marion Burns : You two are going to pay for this!
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Not on our salary.
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Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm not screwed up enough.
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Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : You're supposed to sign these release papers for these patients' releasal.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : I don't understand a word you say, but I'll fight to the death your right to confuse me.
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Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : It's about Corporal Travis. Because of your orders, we're having to change his bed around the clock.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Well, you have my permission to move the clock.
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Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : [seeing Radar's hand] Hey, that's a nasty scratch. Whoever she is, you better tell her to clip her nails or file her teeth. Or both.
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Major Franklin Marion Burns : [about reading a medical journal] Well, the Travis case has convinced me that I should keep up with the latest medical practices.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : That's very good, Frank.
Major Franklin Marion Burns : For instance, this article says a surgeon should base his fee on 5% of the patient's yearly income.
[Hawkeye and Trapper fling pillows at3him]