- It is a beautiful Spring day that makes one yearn for a group lobotomy. Trapper grabs a nurse; Radar wants to grab pretty Lt. Simmons and Henry grabs some golf. In the field, nostrils flare as Hotlips and Frank grab each other. A hairy English rose reads Rupert Brooke... and a telegram. She said yes. Hawkeye almost gets grabbed by a disturbed feline fondler, but his new buddy, Gargantuan Marine, Lyle Wesson saves him. And he keeps on saving him. Henry arranges a wireless wedding between Korea and Toledo with Father Mulcahy presiding. The brides wore white. Were Scott and Zelda on the guest list? Will there be dancing and/or twirling? Boy, they sure throw some weird parties, huh? Does the Jr. Swamp Rat finally get slaked?—LA-Lawyer
- Several wild events happen during a nice spring day in Korea. First, a marine who Hawkeye performs surgery on feels beholden to him. Next, Radar falls for a nurse who's main interest is poetry. Then Klinger receives a letter from his girl Laverne who agrees to marry him. Finally, a young soldier in a catatonic state and with no tags wanders into post-op with a strange fixation for a kitten.—Brian Washington <Sargebri@att.net>
- It is a beautiful Spring day that makes one yearn for a group lobotomy. Trapper grabs a nurse; Radar wants to grab pretty Lt. Simmons (Mary Kay Place). Henry grabs some golf. In the field, nostrils flare as Hotlips and Frank grab each other. Radar is smitten with Simmons (A nurse with heavy specs, who cant see a thing without them (just like Radar)), but she keeps ignoring him. So, Radar is ignoring her right back, but this is getting him nowhere with her. Trapper and Hawk encourage Radar to ask her to the movies. Radar talks to Simmons (The night's movie is "Firstborn of Godzilla") and she says she is into poems more than movies.
A hairy English rose (Klinger) reads poetry from Rupert Brooke... and a telegram comes for him in the mail. She said yes (Klinger's high school sweetheart Laverne said yes to his marriage proposal and Klinger needs to go off back home and marry her)!
Hawkeye almost gets grabbed by a disturbed feline fondler (a recently saved soldier got hold of a cat outside Post Op and now wont let go). Hawkeye is called into post-op to deal with a traumatized patient, who had grabbed hold of a cat, and wont let go. The soldier wont say anything (plus he was brought in without dog tags). Hawkeye persuades the Private to give up the cat, but the private grabs hold of Hawk's neck instead. Lyle has to step in to save Hawkeye. Hawkeye's new buddy is the Gargantuan Marine, Lyle Wesson (Alex Karras). Lyle was brought into surgery in a very bad shape and he himself felt that it was curtains for him, but Hawkeye's skill saves his life. And he keeps on saving him (he empties mess tables for him when it is full at lunch time, he cuts the line to make sure Hawkeye gets served first everywhere)! Lyle is super thankful to Hawk for saving his life and promises to pay him back, no matter what it takes. So, Lyle becomes his personal bodyguard and valet. Eventually, Lyle is to be shipped off the base, and he suggests that they be pen pals after the war is over.
Radar borrows the poetry book from Klinger and reads one to Simmons. she gives in and has sex with him. Simmons says that Radar was playing hard to get with her, and that she was smitten with him, the moment she saw him.
Henry arranges a wireless wedding between Korea and Toledo (4 am in Korea, and 6 pm in Toledo) with Father Mulcahy presiding, as he cant let Klinger go home even for his own wedding. The brides wore white. Due to radio interference the ceremony is not completed, as the priest didn't hear the bride say "I Do". Margaret and Frank walk and object to the wedding being performed. Frank wants to put Hawkeye on report for aiding Klinger's wedding. Lyle picks up Frank and twirls him till he agrees not to report Hawkeye. Eventually, Henry gets the radio to work and the wedding ceremony is completed. Radar is finally a man.
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