Magnum, P.I. (TV Series)

Black on White (1982)

John Hillerman: Jonathan Quayle Higgins

Quotes 

• Magnum : When were you in Africa?

  Higgins : Of course, I was in North Africa during the war, attached to Alexander's command. Fought against Rommel in the desert.

  Magnum : Higgins...

  Higgins : I remember once...

  Magnum : Higgins...

  Higgins : ...outside El Alamein...

  Magnum : I meant, when did you see the Masai rites?

  Higgins : When I was stationed in Kenya in '53.

  Magnum : 1953? That was about the time of Mau Mau uprising, wasn't it?

  Higgins : Yes.

  [Higgins goes to get more drink] 

  Higgins : Scotch?

  Magnum : No, this is fine. What was it like?

  Higgins : It was bloody.

  [Higgins returns to his seat] 

  Higgins : [glumly]  The Mau Mau came from the Kikuyu tribe. And the Kikuyu could be a savage people. But then, so could we. Take away our bowlers and school ties, remove us from our cities where others kill our meat, from our books and films, where we vicariously live out our baser emotions, set us down in the African bush where every living thing is killing or being killed, and we can be as savage as any tribe on the face of the earth. You know what I mean?

  Magnum : Yes, I've been there.

  Higgins : Africa?

  Magnum : Vietnam.

• [Bebe explains her mission] 

  Bebe Kiamonni : After three ex-British soldiers, who served in the same regiment in Kenya, were murdered recently by methods reminiscent of the Mau Mau, Scotland Yard informed our government and I was sent to London to assist in the investigation.

  Edwin Clutterbuck : [approaches Bebe]  You are that damned tart that tried to pick me up the same night that Mau Mau came after me!

  Magnum : Well, which is it, Miss Kiamonni, CID or tart?

  Bebe Kiamonni : [smiles]  Mr. Clutterbuck and your friend here obviously share one quality - they are both stubborn. He refused Scotland Yard's protection. No bodyguard, no protective custody.

  Edwin Clutterbuck : So they sent a bloody wog to spend the night with me.

  Bebe Kiamonni : [disdainfully]  They did not send me. Your penchant for African women is well-documented.

  [everyone looks at Edwin. He feels uncomfortable] 

  Bebe Kiamonni : So I decided on my own that it was the best way to stay close to you, to catch whoever was murdering the Brits. We have no desire to see any reviving of the Mau Maus. They are of the past. And if the British cannot stop him, then I must.

  Higgins : You said the murder victims were all ex-soldiers who had served in Kenya?

  Bebe Kiamonni : [nods]  Yes.

  Edwin Clutterbuck : Privates Buckminster, Taylor, Lance Corporal Crawford, Sergeant Major.

  [Higgins sighs, wearing a sorrowful expression] 

  Higgins : [quietly]  Biribi.

  Magnum : What's Biribi, Higgins?

  Higgins : A village in Kenya. At least it was.

  Bebe Kiamonni : [surprised]  Higgins? You're Sergeant Major Higgins. Of course.

  Magnum : And I suppose you didn't know that.

  Bebe Kiamonni : No, I did not. I followed Clutterbuck here and assumed he was a guest of Robin Masters.

  Magnum : [impatienly]  What happened at Biribi?

  [Bebe gestures with her head toward Edwin. He looks uncomfortable] 

  Edwin Clutterbuck : Um... if you'll excuse me.

  [Edwin starts walking away] 

  Magnum : Hold on...

  Edwin Clutterbuck : [waves his hand]  I'm not feeling well.

  Magnum : Just wait a minute!

  Higgins : Let him go, Magnum. Let him go.

  [Edwin leaves the room] 

  Higgins : What did Private Clutterbuck tell you?

  Magnum : That you'd served together in the same unit in Kenya and one by one, members of your old unit were being killed by a Mau Mau.

  Orville 'Rick' Wright : He even showed us clippings from the London Times.

  Bebe Kiamonni : He told the truth, as far as he went. The ex-soldiers being killed are the ones who took part in the Biribi massacre.

  Magnum : Higgins?

  Higgins : [heavily]  We had been in the bush a week, when Privates Holmesby and O'Rourke were ambushed whilst scouting a wadi. We found them at sunset, mutilated. But that word cannot possibly describe what had been done to their bodies.

  [Higgins stands and starts pacing the room] 

  Higgins : There was a full moon, so we were able to stay on the Mau Mau's track. Around midnight we found them. There was a brief skirmish, and two of them were killed. But I was slashed by a panga, here in the thigh, and couldn't go on. I ordered the lads to press on. When I caught up with them the next morning, they had tracked the Mau Mau to Biribi and leveled the village. A number of innocent Africans were killed, including some women and children. But it was my responsibility. I should never have allowed the lads to go on without me.

  [a pause] 

  Bebe Kiamonni : Sergeant Major Higgins reported the massacre, assumed full responsibility and recommended a court-martial for everyone involved, including himself. Naturally, he was absolved. Unfortunately, the others were simply reprimanded and transfered out of the country.

  Higgins : The army did them no favor by not court-martialing them.

• Higgins : [to Bebe]  They were decent lads, you know. Young. Clutterbuck couldn't have been more than 18. They were brutalized, they'd seen their mates killed. It was just too bloody much for them. It would have been far better if they had been court-martialed and punished. It would have given them a chance to pay their debt. As it is, they just had to live with it.

  [at the balcony, Edwin leans on the railing, looking at the full moon. He experiences a flashback of the massacre in Biribi: he struggled with a young woman. A kid grabbed a machete and charged at Edwin. Edwin drew his gun and shot the kid. Edwin shuts his eyes, unable to bear the burden of guilt. Suddenly he is aware that someone climbs the stairs. He turns back. The door opens. A burly African, armed with a spear, stands at the door. Edwin stares at him with horror. The native throws the spear, and it gets stuck in a wooden beam near Edwin. Edwin stares again: the door is closed and there is no spear in the beam. Edwin starts to get undressed, revealing that under his suit he is dressed like a Mau Mau] 

• [Higgins and Agatha stand near the gate, speaking] 

  Agatha Chumley : I don't understand, Jonathan. Dr. Ibold told me you'd taken a spill, sprained your ankle.

  Higgins : That was Magnum's idea.

  Agatha Chumley : That sordid man in the guest house? The one who's always causing trouble?

  Higgins : [nods]  Yes.

  [Edwin stands on the balcony, dressed like Mau Mau warrior, armed with a spear. He watches Higgins and Agatha. He prepares to throw the spear at Higgins. The door behind him opens, and Magnum appears, pointing a gun at Edwin. Edwin turns to face Magnum] 

  Magnum : [lowers the gun]  Edwin, don't. It's over.

  [Edwin hesitates for a moment, then yells and prepares to throw the spear at Magnum. Magnum shoots him. Edwin trembles and falls from the balcony. Agatha gasps and faints. Higgins kneels near her, looking up at Magnum. Magnum sighs and looks at Edwin's dead body] 

• Higgins : [surveying Magnum's room]  Oh, my God! London blitz didn't look as bad. How can you live in such filth?

• [Magnum looks through the window. He spots someone dressed like a Mau Mau sneaking between the bushes. Magnum calls Rick via the radio tramsmitter] 

  Magnum : [quietly]  Rick, he's coming towards the guest house.

  Orville 'Rick' Wright : Are you sure?

  [Higgins enters the room and turns the lights on] 

  Higgins : Magnum? What the bloody hell is going on?

  Magnum : [annoyed]  Don't you ever knock?

  [Magnum jumps out of the window] 

  Higgins : Come back here! You'll contaminate the estate!

  [Rick, dressed as Higgins and armed with an Uzi, goes outside. He spots someone running. The unknown person throws a rungu at Rick. Rick opens fire, but he is hit and knocked unconscious by the rungu. Magnum arrives and kneels near Rick] 

  Magnum : Rick. Rick!

  [Magnum hears a noise. He cocks his gun. Bebe comes out of the bushes, and gasps in horror as Magnum points his gun at her] 

• [at the guest house, Higgins is treating Rick's head injury. He is very displeased to hear the quarantine was a trick] 

  Higgins : Of all the imbecilic ideas... African Hemorrhagic Fever!

  Magnum : I don't know, it fooled you.

  Higgins : Fooled me?

  [Higgins turns angrily at Magnum, unintentionally hurting Rick] 

  Orville 'Rick' Wright : Ow! Watch it!

  Higgins : I'm sorry, Rick.

  [Higgins resumes treating Rick's injury] 

  Higgins : You can blame that on Magnum.

  Edwin Clutterbuck : He was only trying to protect you, Sergeant Major.

  Higgins : Protect me?

  [once again, Higgins turns angrily at Magnum, unintentionally hurting Rick] 

  Orville 'Rick' Wright : Ow! That's it! I'll fix my own busted head.

  [Rick removes his false moustache. Higgins approaches Magnum] 

  Higgins : Do you see what your interfering can do? Did it ever occur to you that three wars, five insurrections and 37 years in Her Majesty's Service might give me the skills to protect myself?

  Magnum : [raises his voice]  If I had told you a Mau Mau was hunting you, would you have battened yourself in here tonight - or gone to the concert?

  Higgins : Gone to the concert, of course. That's not the point.

  Magnum : That is precisely the point! You may be a well-trained tough old Brit, but when it comes to protecting your own hide - you're as stubborn as an... Irish mule.

  Edwin Clutterbuck : I think he means a Welsh donkey.

  Magnum : Whatever! If I hadn't gotten Doc Ibold to quarantine you, that Mau Mau...

  [Magnum points at Bebe] 

  Magnum : ...would've had you hanging from a tree by now.

  Bebe Kiamonni : I am not a Mau Mau.

  Magnum : [dryly]  Oh. She speaks. And I suppose you didn't clip Rick on the head with this...

  [Magnum examines the rungu] 

  Magnum : ...whatever the hell this is.

  [Higgins takes the rungu] 

  Higgins : It's a rungu. I haven't seen one in 30 years. The Kikuyu make them from the root of a baobab tree. Properly fired and polished, they're as hard as steel, and just as deadly.

  Orville 'Rick' Wright : [bitterly]  Yeah, tell me about it.

  Bebe Kiamonni : I didn't hit you with the rungu. The Mau Mau did.

  Magnum : Then why were you carrying these when I caught you?

  Bebe Kiamonni : One. I was only carrying one.

  Orville 'Rick' Wright : [points at his bruised temple]  We know what you did with the other one!

  Bebe Kiamonni : May I explain?

  Edwin Clutterbuck : This ought to be bloody good.

  Bebe Kiamonni : My name is Bebe Kiamonni and I am a member of the Kenyan CID.

  Orville 'Rick' Wright : Never heard of it.

  Higgins : It's the Criminal Investigation Department. It exists. That part of what she's saying is true.

  Bebe Kiamonni : [nods]  Thank you.