- Robin: You know what we could do with? An au pair!
- Marian: Robin!
- Barrington: You can have a bite of this apple if you want.
- Robin: No, seriously! A nice little Malaysian girl or something.
- Marian: Are you deliberately trying to wind me up?
- Robin: I mean, it'd be helping the third world, you know. We wouldn't rip her off. She'd just do the washing and cooking and cleaning and ironing and washing-up and dusting and maybe blow-dry my hair when she's got a minute, and in return you'd give her English lessons. It wouldn't cost us a penny!
- 'Rotten' Rose Scargill: I'm sales representative for a major house renovation corporation.
- Marian: Gosh! For one minute I thought you were one of those creeps who hang around outsiude supermarkets trying to sell second-rate conservatories and draughty double glazing!
- 'Rotten' Rose Scargill: Well, at least I'm employed. I'm not a housewife like *some* people.
- Marian: What do you mean? I'm a freedom fighter, and you know it.
- 'Rotten' Rose Scargill: A *freedom fighter*. Of course! I'd forgotten. That's why you have to do the shopping, isn't it? So your men have got the freedom to fight.
- Marian: Rose!
- 'Rotten' Rose Scargill: By the way, those are nasty bags you've got under your eyes, love. Why don't you put your shopping in them?
- The Sheriff: [the Sheriff has Walter's head in a vice and is twisting the wheel] Does this hurt?
- Walter: No.
- The Sheriff: How about this?
- [Twists wheel with all his strength]
- Walter: No.
- The Sheriff: Oh, stupid thing, I don't know what's wrong with it.
- Walter: [Straightens up and lifts the vice off his head] Let me have a look.
- The Sheriff: It's not the bearings, is it?
- Walter: I hope not, mate, for your sake. You're looking at a lot of money if it's the bearings.
- Weasel: [Hanging on the wall] That's the 1136 model, isn't it? With the chrome secondary spike? It'll be the bearings, I'm telling you! They're renowned for it. He should have got the 1138!