- Al: It never occurred to anyone here that I read "Bridge Ends Here" just fine and floored it anyway.
- Al: Now, I'm about to go out and partake of some of the beauty which our fair city affords us. If you need me, I'll be at the nudie bar.
- [Al has just come home]
- Al: As God is my witness, I will never drive anyone else in the family any place ever again. All I get from you are complaints. You kids must be nuts, I didn't think that was scary.
- [Bud and Kelly walks in the door with their hair messed up]
- Bud: Get some glasses, dad!
- Al: For the thousandth time, I do not need glasses. You can ask anyone.
- Kelly: Fine, Buck.
- [Buck the briard comes in with his fur messed up too]
- Al: I'm telling you I don't need Glasses. My vision was checked in the fourth grade and it's perfect.