Married... with Children (TV Series)

Where's the Boss? (1987)

David Garrison: Steve Rhoades

Quotes 

• Steve Rhoades : He was flying his own jet, had an equipment failure, bailed out and washed ashore at a topless hula school. They made a litter for him out of their grass skirts and nursed him back to health. They think he's a god... so do I.

• Al Bundy : Come on, phone, ring. Tell me you got the flowers. "What a guy! We're gonna give you a raise." Come on, ring.

  [the doorbell rings] 

  Al Bundy : [picks up the phone]  Hello?

  Peggy Bundy : Al, it's the door.

  Al Bundy : Well, get it. I'm on the phone. Hello?

  [Peggy answers the door and Steve and Marcy appears] 

  Steve Rhoades , Marcy Rhoades : Hi.

  Peggy Bundy : Hi.

  Steve Rhoades : Hey, Al, did you hear about Gary?

  Al Bundy : Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's dead. Great tragedy and all that. Stay off my phone.

  [a ring is heard] 

  Al Bundy : [picks up the phone]  Hello?

  Peggy Bundy : That's the oven timer, Al.

  Al Bundy : You cooked?

  Peggy Bundy : Nah, it's just a reminder to order dinner.

• Al Bundy : Doesn't anybody understand what I'm talking about? I work for a guy who wouldn't spit on me if he saw me.

  Steve Rhoades : Ah, come on, Al. Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure he'd spit on you if he saw you.

• Steve Rhoades : So, how you doing, buddy? Enjoying your first day out of work? Ooh, ooh, nice pajamas. Unemployment's really agreeing with you, big guy.

  Al Bundy : Well, it all comes down to priorities. What's more important: pride or money?

  Steve Rhoades : Money, Al. I love it. I love to look at it, and be around it, and count it. That's why I went into the bank biz, but that's me, and you're out of work. But hang in there, there's plenty of work for a man with your qualifications. Did you ever try to, uh, shoe a horse, Al? You know, you are tall enough to be Goofy at Disney World. Of course, you'd have to relocate, but they have real nice trailer parks down there.

  Al Bundy : You're enjoying yourself, aren't you, Steve?

  Steve Rhoades : [chuckles]  Remember what you did to my dog, Al?

  Al Bundy : Yes, I do.

  Steve Rhoades : To continue, then. You could get yourself some flowers and sell them at the expressway off-ramp.

  Marcy Rhoades : Now, Steve...

  Steve Rhoades : Oh, can't I do one more?

  Marcy Rhoades : Well... okay.

  Steve Rhoades : You could sell your blood, Al. They give you juice and cookies afterwards.

  Peggy Bundy : Gee, Al, if you could manage to stagger home without spilling the juice, that would be dinner for the family.