Martin (TV Series)

Things I Do for Love (1992)

Martin Lawrence: Martin Payne, Jerome

Quotes 

• Martin Payne : [opening monologue]  I remember my 1st practical joke. It was on my cousin Ken. He was outside playing basketball so I figured, right, I'll go to the refrigerator, get a bottle of soda, pour some dishwashing liquid in it - you know, play that joke. I could see him come in the house and take a sip of that and say, "Hey Martin, this is not soda! Good one , good one." Sure enough, 15 minutes later, he comes running into the house. he went for that soda. At least he taught it was soda. "Hmm, pah! Yo , man!" As he chuckled like a maniac, he beat me like he didn't know me. As he punched and he laughed and he punched and he laughed and he punched and he laughed, this is when I realized I had the gift to make people laugh. Thank you Ken, thank you.

• Martin Payne : Hey. Yo, man. Don't funk this jacket up tonight with that cheap cologne you be wearing.

  Cole Brown : Man, don't even worry about it. Listen, I'll bring it back tonight, all right?... Or tomorrow if I get lucky.

  Martin Payne : Ha-ha. See you tonight!

• Cole Brown : Uh, remember that new jacket you just got? Can I borrow it? going out tonight.

  Martin Payne : No! You know why? Because you always borrow stuff of mine and you never return it. Where's my CD player?

  Cole Brown : I'm gonna get it back to you alright? My mom's got it. She's holding it... till I pay my rent.

• Jerome : [grabs the arm of girl at the club]  Stop the press! This has got to be jelly. Because jam don't shake like that!

• Jerome : Excuse me? Haven't we met here before? My name is Jerome. But you can call me J.J. because everything is dyn-o-mite! You hear? Wait-a-minute. Something just clicked. Click, click. There it is. I know your name. Your name must be Candy because you look so sweet. Give me a bite of that candy.

  Gina Waters : wait. Hold up. My boyfriend is right over there and I don't think he would appreciate you coming onto me with those tired, weak, 1975 "Superfly" lines. Thank you.

  Jerome : I guess you're talking about the little big-eared guy over there. Let me tell you something. If you wanna get with a winner, you gotta drop that chicken dinner. You hear? You've gotta gry rid of your friend, though, if you wanna ride in a Benz-o. Now what you got to say? Give it to me now.

  Gina Waters : You a rhyming man huh? A poet.

  Jerome : And you know it.

  Gina Waters : Well, I got one for you.

  Jerome : Give it to me.

  Gina Waters : If you don't like mace, get out of my face!

  Jerome : I didn't like you anyway. I was just trying to help you out.

• Martin Payne : I never understood why a brother takes their lady to a club. That's like going out fr hot dogs when you got Steak-Ums at home.

  Gina Waters : You know, you use to do it. It's fun, it's exciting, it's romantic.

  Martin Payne : I'm romantic. You know that. Don't we get "busy" every day?

  Gina Waters : I'm not talking about that, Martin. You know, we never do anything exciting, like go out.

  Martin Payne : Oh! Oh, okay, so that's it.You want me to be like Romeo. Come on baby, that ain't me, I got my own thing.

  Gina Waters : I just thought that it would be fun to do something different, like go out.

  Martin Payne : You want to go to maybe to the hip-hop club? Or the rock-your-butt club? You wanna do that? No,no, let's go to your favorite, baby. The Price Club. Ha-ha.

  Gina Waters : You forgot one, Martin. The man-who-sleeps-all-by-himself club.

  Martin Payne : Well, you just make sure I get in free.