McCloud (TV Series)

The Stage Is All the World (1970)

Richard Dawson: Ted Callender

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted Callender : Oh, I am sorry if my loud, crude, vulgar voice is giving you a headache.

  Chief Peter Clifford : The pain, Mr Callender, is not in my head.

  Ted Callender : Oh, you're a charmer, you are. Well I almost had a headache, you know what sort? The sort of headache you get when lead goes in here and comes out here!

  [indicating his head] 

• Sam McCloud : Mr Callender, about that party o' yours tonight...

  Ted Callender : I ain't calling it off.

  Sam McCloud : You know it's going to be very difficult to guard you with all those people there.

  Ted Callender : Well, that's your problem, mate.

  Sam McCloud : It's your life.

• Ted Callender : [glancing through a book of mugshots]  Oh, this is hopeless. A thousand bleeding villains and not one of them looks like the parisher that shot me. Why you wanted her ladyship along I got no idea, I really haven't. She just caught one glimpse of the geezer downstairs, she's probably looking for someone with emerald eyes, purple earholes and lightning flashing out of his hooter.

• Ted Callender : You see, the tribe desperately needs the harvest. There's drought over the porridge fields, blight on the op crops or some bloody catastrophe or other, and so a sacrifice has to be made. A sacrifice of a beautiful girl. Now, why beautiful, I've got no idea at all. 'Cause if I'd lived in those days, I'd choose some right old boiler to sacrifice. But it's tradition, darling.