- Capt. Stottlemeyer: [Monk is sick in bed with the flu; Stottlemeyer points to a large device on the nightstand] What is this thing?
- Adrian Monk: It's a humidifier.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: [pointing to another device] What's that one?
- Adrian Monk: It's a dehumidifier.
- [long pause]
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Well, don't they cancel each other out?
- Adrian Monk: Exactly.
- [Natalie is helping Monk re-paper his walls]
- Natalie: Mr. Monk, it's level. See? The bubble is right in the middle.
- Adrian Monk: I think it's broken.
- Natalie: Mr. Monk, the level is not broken! It's a bubble on a stick.
- Adrian Monk: Let's just make sure...
- [He unwraps a second level and holds it next to the first one]
- Natalie: You have two levels?
- Adrian Monk: I use this level to check the other levels. It's my level-checking level.
- Julie Teeger: [deadpan] How do you know that one's not broken?
- Adrian Monk: That's a good question. I take my level checking level to the hardware store twice a year to have it re-calibrated.