Monty Python's Flying Circus (TV Series)

Dinsdale! (1970)

Terry Jones: Mrs. G. Pinnet, Shopkeeper, Silly Walker, Second Interviewer, Superintendant Harry 'Snapper' Organs, Man with a cake stand screwed to his pelvis

Photos 

Quotes 

• Second Interviewer : Stig, I've been told that Dinsdale Pyranna nailed your head to the floor.

  Stig O'Tracey : No! No never, never. He was a smashing bloke. He used to give his mother flowers and that. He was like a brother to me.

  Second Interviewer : But the police had film of Dinsdale actually nailing your head to the floor.

  Stig O'Tracey : Oh yeah, well he did that, yeah.

  Second Interviewer : Why?

  Stig O'Tracey : Well he had to, didn't he? I mean be fair, there was nothing else he could do. I mean I had transgressed the unwritten law.

  Second Interviewer : What had you done?

  Stig O'Tracey : Uh... well he never told me that. But he gave me his word it was the case, and that's good enough for me with old Dinsy. I mean he didn't *want* to nail my head to the floor, I had to insist. He wanted to let me off. There's nothing Dinsdale wouldn't do for you.

• Luigi Vercotti. : I'd been running a successful escort agency, high class, no really, high class girls, we didn't have any of that. That was right out.

  [Phone rings] 

  Luigi Vercotti. : Hello? Not now, not now. Schtoom, schtoom! Right, we'll have the watch ready for you at midnight. The watch. The *Chinese watch.* Right, bye-bye. Mother.

  [Hangs up] 

  Luigi Vercotti. : So I decided to set up a high-class night club for the gentry at Biggleswade. With international cuisine and cooking and top line acts. And not a cheap clip-joint for picking up tarts, that was right out, I deny that completely. And one evening, Dinsdale walks in with a couple of big lads. One of whom was carrying a tactical nuclear missile. They said I'd bought one of their fruit machines and would I pay for it?

  Second Interviewer : How much did they want?

  Luigi Vercotti. : Three quarters of a million pounds. And they went out.

  Second Interviewer : Why didn't you call for the police?

  Luigi Vercotti. : Well I noticed that the fellow with the thermonuclear device was the chief constable for the area. Anyway, a week later, they came back, said that the cheque had bounced and that I had to see... Doug.

  Second Interviewer : Doug?

  Luigi Vercotti. : Doug.

  [Takes a drink] 

  Luigi Vercotti. : I was terrified of him. Everyone was terrified of Doug. I've seen grown men pull their own heads off rather than see Doug. Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug.

  Second Interviewer : What did Doug do?

  Luigi Vercotti. : He used sarcasm. He really knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and... satire.